Want to Raise Boys to Become Good Men? Stop Calling Them Predators-in-Training

In the era of Harvey Weinstein, mothers of sons are told two things: we have a responsibility to raise our boys to be better than the likes of Weinstein and every other man; and our sons are destined to become predators no matter what we do.

That’s not just the view of radical feminist writers like Kate Morgan, who wrote on Twitter last week: “BE WELL ADVISED WORLD, IF YOU HAVE A PENIS YOU PROBABLY DESERVE MURDERING.” A tad extreme; Morgan eventually deleted the tweet, but the man-hating pervasive on the feminist Left has gone from the fringe to the mainstream.

In fact, the vitriol against men is mainstream enough to dominate the pages of the New York Times last week.

Writing last weekend, Stephen Marche argued, “If you let boys be boys, they will murder their fathers and sleep with their mothers.” In the Style section, Bee Shapiro profiled teenage boys whose “eye makeup is way better than yours.” The only way for a boy to be a boy and not be a murderer, according to the Times, is for him to act like a girl.

Where does this leave the rest of us parents wanting to raise sons to become the respectable young men we know they can be?

All of this man-hating isn’t coming completely out of left field. The number of sexual assault and harassment stories from major figures on both the left and right in the media, politics and entertainment continues to rise. It’s easy, even for men like Marche, to write off the entire male species as inherently flawed. It’s disheartening to see men who only recently were decrying misogyny, as broadcaster Charlie Rose did when allegations of abuse by Game Change author Mark Halperin emerged, then turn out to be abusers themselves. We’re left to wonder if any man is safe or immune from this behavior.

Our only hope is for the future, to raise young men and boys to be better. And yet, this climate of man-hating is making it all but impossible.

When the culture implies that boys are likely to become predators, abusers, or harassers, how exactly are they supposed to understand themselves? If we want our boys to be better, we have to raise them with the expectation they can be better, not tell them constantly that they are monsters-in-training.

Most women with good men in our lives know that a boy growing into a harasser or abuser is hardly a fait accompli. There are good ones out there and we know it: we’re married to them and we’re raising them.

But the challenges facing parents trying to accomplish the latter are just piling on. Our culture is hypersexualized, and yet we wonder why it is that so many men view women as merely sexual objects. Music, television and movies teach our children that sex is cheap; and then villainize our men for treating women’s bodies as commodities.

This toxic view of masculinity is manifesting itself in more disturbing ways every day. This week in Indiana a nurse lost her job for writing on Twitter that the sons of white women “be sacrificed to the wolves,” according to hospital officials. She was, thankfully, fired, and never had contact with patients, and thus was never able to put this sick view into action. But it’s a frightening story; it’s no wonder the bizarre words of what is presumably an educated healthcare professional have made headlines around the country.

How does this kind of rhetoric manifest itself in the psyche of American boys, hearing not only that they are inherently sexual predators and deviants, but also that they are not even deserving of life?

The wives, daughters and mothers of good men everywhere can rejoice that mankind aren’t going anywhere; we will (thank god) never be a female-only species. We need men, no matter how much society is trying to prove the contrary. Our culture undeniably has its issues with how some men express their sexuality, and we’re learning about just how much this toxicity has permeated our society.

But talking about men as born predators, and labeling all men as such, risks creating a self-fulfilling prophecy. If we want men to be better than the parade of horribles we see in the news, we must first acknowledge that they can be, and that most already are. If we want to raise a generation of boys to become good men, then we should target toxic messages, not masculinity itself.

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17 responses to “Want to Raise Boys to Become Good Men? Stop Calling Them Predators-in-Training

  1. How about in addition to stopping the male-hating rhetoric, we also stop pretending every woman every where is a paragon of virtue?

    1. You mean we actually judge people individually, on the content of their individual character and actions, rather than what group they are in, what a novel concept.

  2. The male hate jihad is only directed towards white men by primarily Jewish women and men. Are you prepared to deal with that? If not, your thoughts are inconsequential.

    1. I didn’t know Hillary was a Jew. You’re an idiot, you know that? While you and Mohammed are looking for a Jew hiding behind a rock, Kamala Harris is standing behind you with an executioner’s sword.

      1. High percentage chance that this is a leftist trying to create the hint of antisemitism so that he and his fellow travelers can point it out. Much like most of the racial crimes have been perpetrated by racial minorities to create the idea that this country is racist.

        1. A good possibility, although I have heard a few people on the Bannonite or white nationalist fringe make comments like that as well.. In any event we have to jump on and oppose such Jew hating comments whenever anybody makes them, so we do not ourselves become the straw man the left falsely claims we are.

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  3. ” “BE WELL ADVISED WORLD, IF YOU HAVE A PENIS YOU PROBABLY DESERVE MURDERING.” ‘ OK, then, everyone can see how stupid and idiotic and asinine feminazis are. Nobody deserves to be murdered, only a demon infested piece of crap could think so much less say so. A person who deserves to be killed is EXECUTED, not murdered. See how the truth about their internal wickedness comes out if you just pay careful attention to what they say and how they say it?

  4. Men need to fix themselves and women need to fix the system that has allowed men to get away with predatory behavior for so long. Plus I’m too busy protecting myself to be concerned about messages that throw too wide of a net. A good man knows he’s a good man and isn’t included in broad generalizations.

    1. So broad generalizations are okay? Just when it’s about men or when it’s about races, ethnicities, religions, cultures, nationalities, sexual orientations? Just men right?

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