Stop Guilt-Tripping Boys About Their ‘Toxic Masculinity’

toxic masculinity

Last week a proud feminist single mom posted a piece in The Washington Post in which she shamed her sixteen- and eighteen-year-old sons for not taking a more proactive stand to combat rape and misogyny. For anyone who needs a guide on How Not to Turn Your Children Into the Social Justice Warriors You Desperately Want Them to Be, “My Teen Boys Are Blind to Rape Culture” is it.

Jody Allard is a Seattle-based writer on issues related to feminism, parenting, and social justice, who describes herself as a happily single mother of seven. In previous articles she has had no compunction about sharing very personal experiences such as surviving rape, her self-loathing over a malformed hand, three failed marriages, a son’s suicidal depression, and a husband’s emotionally lacerating infidelity. She also has no compunction about publicly embarrassing her sons by declaring them “part of the problem” of rape culture and by labeling at least one of them a “rape apologist” over his reasonable belief that accused rapists should be considered innocent until proven guilty.

In her most recent WaPo confessional, Ms. Allard is disturbed and frustrated that her two teen sons aren’t more active allies with her against what she insists is our rape culture. As I’ve written elsewhere, America doesn’t have a rape culture; we have a culture in which rape is considered a heinous crime and those convicted of it—and sometimes those merely accused of it—are viewed as monsters. Does this mean that rape is uncommon or that our legal system’s handling of such cases isn’t sometimes problematic? Not at all. Does this mean that our pop culture isn’t hyper-sexualized or that it doesn’t objectify women? Not at all. But if you want to see a rape culture, travel to rural areas in Afghanistan or Iran or India. There is no such equivalent here.

Jody Allard’s sons agree. They roll their eyes when she raises issues of rape, consent, and sexism at the dinner table. “There’s no such thing as rape culture,” one tells her. “You say everything is about rape culture or sexism.” Their mother’s sense of betrayal is palpable:

My sons, who are good boys and who know all about consent, do not speak out about consent. Not when it’s uncomfortable. Not when it might jeopardize their social standing. My sons who hate hearing about their own privilege nestle inside it like a blanket and accuse me of making up its existence.

“I never imagined I would raise boys who would become men like these,” she laments. “Men who deny rape culture, or who turn a blind eye to sexism.”

Apart from her disturbing willingness to disparage her sons in a national newspaper, Allard also isn’t helping matters by pushing the boys away with her obsessive cause. “They’ve been listening to me talk about consent, misogyny and rape culture since they were tweens,” she explains, which is probably the reason they argue and resist becoming the social justice warriors she wants them to be: she’s been hectoring them for years about rape culture and they’re sick of hearing about how they’re complicit in “toxic masculinity” unless they’re also hectoring their male friends about it:

My sons are good boys… [but] when it comes to speaking out against rape culture and questioning their own ideas and behavior, they become angry and defensive. Not all men, they remind me, and my guts wrench as my own sons mimic the vitriol of a thousand online trolls.

It’s not trolling to point out, as her sons rightly do, that not all men are rapists or are enmeshed in some sort of patriarchal conspiracy against women. It’s unnecessary for her to declare that “anyone who isn’t with us is against us.” The vast majority of American men—your sons included—already are with you, Ms. Allard, in terms of finding rape to be unconscionable behavior. Also, she conveniently neglects to mention that many of today’s young women—girls, really—sadly are far from the passive victims of male sexual aggression that she makes them out to be (cue the cries of “Slut-shaming!”). Those young women must bear their share of responsibility for the current confusion about sex, consent, and assault.

Despite her misgivings, Allard seems to have raised decent boys, and that’s admirable. But she also seems to have no self-awareness about how her relationship with her sons is in danger of being warped, if it isn’t already, by her own issues with men, which become apparent as you examine some of her other work. Instead of inspiring her boys to activism, her habits of substituting a lecture on misogyny for dinner conversation and of discussing her disappointing children with Washington Post readers is obviously creating an awkward tension that may ultimately drive them away from her.

What Allard’s boys and others like them need is not a troubled feminist determined to enlist them in her social justice mission, but a good father or other close masculine role model to serve as a living, breathing demonstration of how to be a man who respects and protects women. Boys are far more likely to respond to a strong, good man’s quiet example than to Mother scolding them about their participation in the sexual victimization of women. Unfortunately there’s no indication in her article that these boys have anyone like that in their lives.

Allard is correct that good men must be ready to come to the defense of women, but guilt-tripping our sons about their male privilege, “culpability,” and “toxic masculinity” is not the way to mold good, honorable, proudly masculine young men who are respectful of women.


  • Rick Martin

    This woman is so caught up in her feminist issues, she fails to see that she is being a hate monger and a bully.

    • You forgot “horrible mother”.

      • Rick Martin

        Yep, she is that too.

  • InklingBooks

    This woman seems to be under the impression that her sons are clones of her. They’re not, as they’re showing all too clearly. She should be glad they’ve learned to think for themselves.

    • “Learn for yourself” is the very last thing a Feminist want. It’s listen and believe to feminist doctrine.

      • Laura5757

        You obviously have no idea what an equity feminist is then…perhaps google? Ie learn for yourself ;).

        • One Christina Hoff Sommers does not save feminism.

          And even based mom has ushered the word humanitarian last year.

        • Also:

          “The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil (gender) feminist is for good (equity) feminist to do nothing.”

          You apologizing feminism for it’s evil is part of the problem.

          • Laura5757

            Because to me that isn’t even what feminism is about. That is like asking Christians to apologize for a few lunatics that bombed abortion clinics back in the day.

        • Chris Prestridge

          Half of what a man is worth whether you contributed or not, any man will do.

          • Laura5757

            The only knuckle-draggers who think like that are ones who are extremely insecure in their own masculinity. I actually pity you, that must be a sad existence.

          • Chief Smakaho

            Lol, bìtch, wtf do you know about masculinity? Just because you have a mustache doesn’t mean you know anything about men. Now, go eat another bon bon and pretend that your fat rolls are sexy.

          • Laura5757

            You’re such a sad pathetic little troll. You are someone to be pitied, lonely and hateful.

          • Chief Smakaho

            Please, don’t pity me. Don’t waste the energy. It would be better spent on the treadmill, you fat cow 😉

        • patriarchal landmine

          note the feminist priority when called out for ruining the life of a male child.

          “it’s my right as a woman to ruin this boy’s life.”

          • Laura5757

            Where is the father? Why doesn’t he step in?

    • That Guy

      A big part of Feminism is narcissism. As far as she’s concerned, her children are her property and they should do and think what she wants them to do and think.

      • Laura5757

        Yes because wanting equal treatment is narcissistic. How absurd. This woman is an example of gender feminism not equity feminism, perhaps you should research both a bit?

        • Feminism was never about equal treatment. Feminism is about equal rights WITHOUT eqal obligation.

          From the very beginning: The right to vote without the obligation of the draft.

          And i did do my research.

          • Brian

            The right to vote, but only for middle to upper class, white, women. Also they used the right to shame boys into going off to die in a war when they weren’t even old enough to join (White Feather Campaign).

          • Laura5757

            And what other examples aside from that can you come up with? I would be very curious to know. It is my understanding that women were not the ones in charge of legislating or executing the draft. If they were then you would have a point but they weren’t so sort of shoots that argument down.

          • Google “The order of the White feather” — Wait, I do it for you:



            _“This was joined by some prominent feminists and suffragettes of the time, such as Emmeline Pankhurst and her daughter Christabel. They, in addition to handing out the feathers, also lobbied to institute an involuntary universal draft, which included those who lacked votes due to being too young or not owning property”_

            If feminism wanted true equality those prominent feminists and suffragettes would have joined the army themselves.

          • Laura5757

            In the British army…I was talking about in the US.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            Hey, Sockenpuppe. Good to see ya, here!

        • Dunsworth

          People who merely believe in equity don’t normally identify as feminists, we identify as “reasonable people.” Self-proclaimed feminists who trade on the label are another kettle of fish entirely.

        • Chris Prestridge

          Exactly how is she treated unequally, any feminist for that matter?

          • Laura5757

            If you don’t even realize that there is such thing as male privilege, I don’t even know where to start…so many social constructs, let’s start with the gender wage gap…

          • Chief Smakaho

            Here you go, cùnt. A few examples of female privilege. Read em’ and weep (get triggered).

          • Laura5757

            I work for a tech patent law firm you disgusting excuse for a human being. Men wouldnt pay for benefit programs as much if a significant portion of them raised the children they helped create. Btw you have been flagged.

          • Chief Smakaho

            That’s right, don’t argue the facts. Just flag me like the snowflake you are 😉 muahahhahahaha!

          • Grim Scraggletag
          • Laura5757

            Yeah because women werent allowed to fight but now they are and plenty have died defending this country. Your point?

          • Grim Scraggletag

            First of all…, learn your history, Laura, OK?
            Secondly, No one (but a psychopath) wants to go off to some God forsaken country to have their guts blown out. If women wanted to fight in wars, as men do.. Why did they never complain about the draft being Male-Only-Inscription?
            Except now, women can be drafted, as far as I know.
            And man, did a lot of (most) feminists go ape-s**t when they heard about this.
            If women really wanted to go off and die in wars, they would have protested the male-only draft, decades ago…, but they didn’t.

            And I gotta say… it’s depressing to watch politicians and feminists oppose drafting women. They’ll instantly say: “we can’t send our daughters to die!!!”, but the moment you bring up the draft as a men’s issue the same people will deny that it’s even an issue.

            Would YOU be perfectly willing to sign a paper that gives the state permission to more or less enslave you and use your body as a weapon of war? Wouldn’t you find that at least a little bit frightening?
            Yeah…, I’ve never seen women falling all over themselves to have that.

          • Laura5757

            I dont know what other feminist do, thats a rather blanket statement, Ive never heard someone say “we cant send our daughters to die”.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            No. I didn’t say anyone literally said; “we can’t send our daughters to die.” That is just illustrative of the attitude, of feminists, once women were included in the draft.
            It’s not a “blanket statement” to say that a majority of feminists oppose drafting women. A statement of fact is never a “blanket statement”. Just look up Feminist attitudes, comments and opinions of the drafting of women, yourself. It’s not hard to find.

            This whole thing, also illustrates the fact that, even though western women, by and large TALK a good game, when it comes to “gender equality”, mot are actually in favor of special rights and privileges for women, and unfair disadvantaging of men. In other words, more than HALF of American women are AGAINST equal rights for men. Need example? , OK… a Rasmussen poll released in February (this year) revealed some depressing news for these acolytes of “equality”: 59 percent of women in this country oppose having to register for the draft. Almost surprisingly, though, among men, 61 percent of respondents were just fine with shipping women off to war. Think about that for a while, and then ponder what the latest iterations of feminism have wrought. It’s not a pretty sight.
            To sum it up, real equality isn’t a ‘pick-and-choose’ process. It’s all or nothing. ….Funny how feminists (and even everyday women) want to play the “Animal-Farm-Game”. You know? -“All Animals are equal… But some animals are MORE equal”.
            You can’t be “Equal” and yet have special privileges, rights and considerations OVER those you claim “equality” to and with.
            This by DEFINITION is IN-equality.
            And I defy you, or anyone else to prove otherwise, Laura.


          • Laura5757

   According to this poll, there is only 1% difference between men and women. The fact is a draft is very unlikely to occur as it is. What other special privileges are “feminists” fighting for?

          • Brian

            You don’t know what Selective Service actually entails, do you? Men who don’t sign up for SS are denied Student Financial Aid, Citizenship (if an immigrant), Federal Job Training (and by necessity, Federal Jobs), and can be subject to up to $250,000 and/or 5 years in prison. All of which women are spared.


            Oh, and lets not forget that in a number of states, getting a drivers license is tied to SS registration, which makes it harder, if not impossible, to get a job at all.


            But hey, women have it so hard not being forced to be slaves to the government or have their lives ruined.

          • Laura5757

            And when was the last time there was a draft? That being said, I think it should be mandatory for both sexes or not at all.

          • Brian

            I said nothing about the draft, but nice goal post moving there. The draft, while part of SS, is at the moment a non-issue.

            Feminists disagree that it should be mandatory for both. Some months back, when the idea was being floated around about forcing women to sign up for the draft, a number of feminists said they didn’t want that kind of equality.

          • Laura5757

            A number of feminists do not represent me- Im an equity feminist not a gender one.

          • Luke

            That’s a fine way to look at those self-sacrificing heroes. Who cares what they gave up, because what really matters is that women weren’t allowed to fight. That’s the same as saying, who cares about rape victims when the voices of the accused, innocent or not aren’t heard.

          • Laura5757

            Where did I wholly discredit their sacrifice?…Please tell me.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            “Gender-Wage-Gap”. It’s been debunked more times than the Easter Bunny…


          • Grim Scraggletag
        • OrneryLurker

          Laura5757, you’ve mentioned other’s failure to distinguish between gender and equity feminism five times in this thread without providing a useful definition or distinction for either. Stating “educate yourself” is callous and dismissive and more likely to get your comment downvoted than to encourage anyone to become better informed.

          I Googled it. Google tells me, “[Christina Hoff] Sommers argues that there is a split within American feminism between equity feminism and what she terms ‘gender feminism.’ Sommers contends that equity feminists seek equal legal rights for women and men, while gender feminists seek to counteract historical inequalities based on gender.”

          Now that is informative.

        • Terrence S M Popp

          here is another cant understand normal thinker, right here b

        • Grim Scraggletag

          name us just ONE legal right, that men have that women do not, Laura. Just ONE.
          But be careful…. If you choose to try and answer this question (and no feminists ever does, I notice) I am prepared to give you ample citation that WOMEN actually have MORE rights than do men.

          (And these citations are easily traceable and verifiable).

  • Can someone send child care to rescue Jody Allard​ children before it is to late?

  • Rowlet Senpai

    I’m surprised that they’ve managed to stare into the void that is feminism and retain their intelligence/sanity.

    • Calum Sanderson

      Jody Allard’s reaction when her sons stand up to her and speak to her like she’s an actual person and she just shuts them down because she can’t handle logic.

    • Laura5757

      Depends what kind of feminism you are speaking about. Equity? Or Gender? If you dont know the difference between the two schools, please educate yourself.

      • randompoliticaljunkie

        Feminism IS insanity. Egalitarianism would be a much better idea. Both genders should be equal, most are in agreement about that.

      • The lunatics have given feminism such a bad name that it does not matter any more.

      • Brook River

        All feminism is evil

        • Laura5757

          That is completely idiotic. Please do educate yourself a bit better…

      • Chris Prestridge

        Um equity as, in equality? If so, gender is irrelevant

      • patriarchal landmine

        in case anyone was confused as to why more men hate women.

        here’s how women respond to legitimate issues of female wrongdoing.

        • Laura5757

          She is completely wrong and yet that still doesn’t justify hatred towards all women.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            “She is completely wrong and yet that still doesn’t justify hatred towards all women.”

            OK, Laura. That is actually something I can agree with you, on.

        • Grim Scraggletag

          I don’t hate women (or anyone else). I am just floored by how western women can see “sexism” where there is none and be totally blind the real sexism when it is actually present.
          (Ironically this meme was actually made by a woman. One of the few, that I personally know that actually GETS IT.)

      • Luke

        The wage gap has also been disputed and debunked, princess. Sorry.

        • Laura5757

          Awwe that’s cute that you feel the need to incorporate a misogynistic condescending ad hominem in there. When you are prepared to debate like an adult, let me know…

          • Luke

            Only a child would be so offended. Many women call many men all kinds of names. If we were that sensitive, this whole thing would’ve been over long ago.

          • Laura5757

            I have not called men in general any names. Again the fact that you generalize all women is very telling. You have some personal issues with women, that much is clear.

  • AntiScreed

    I just tweeted her that SHE and her ilk are the cause of misogyny these days.

    • John Gibbons

      I’m in absolute agreement with the author but that will never make me hate women. If i did, that would be on me. I have big problems with a lot of third wave feminism.

    • Laura5757

      Thats downright stupid. To equate one woman as characteristic of all women shows you are the one with a real problem. That is like saying a black man robbed someone, racism is justified. Ridiculous.

      • breandan

        He or she said that “SHE and her ilk”. I took that to mean “SHE and those who think like her”. He didn’t say ‘all women’ which would have been easier to type. Don’t look for an argument.

        • Laura5757

          Fair enough.

      • AntiScreed

        One woman? That declares herself a third wave feminist and YOU believe their insane anti male rhetoric didn’t create this? YOU are a friggin loon. How about this…black males are 6% of the population and responsible for 50+% of all violent crimes…hence a HUGE percentage of males are acting just like the KKK always accused them of. You have a hard time with critical thought don’t you?

        • observer52

          Logic and logic and reason have nothing to do with any “ism.” Don’t expect facts to get in the way either.

      • She is not the only one. And more importantly: she made headline news. She is highly visible. She changes the perception of feminism. And not for the better.

        • Micha_Elyi

          Yeah, Laura5757 should scolded Jody Allard in a tweet first. It’s the least a female can do in reparation for her female privilege.

        • m a

          Well, and everything she’s uttering is being pushed in college women’s studies courses around the country as legitimate.

      • shiny

        I think the issue that leads people to the conclusion AntiScreed is coming to is less what Allard is saying than that the mainstream media trusts and gives voice to people like Allard unquestionably, which, especially if this is her seems like an awful idea. That WaPo, with the circulation that it has, prints her words has the effect of lending legitimacy to her as a speaker for America on “women’s” issues.

        As she’s obviously a crazy person, the publishing of her and people like her by entities like the Washington Post–which are, theoretically, voices of legitimacy–casts doubt on not just the news services in general, but the entire philosophy she purports to speak for. And since Washington Post is one of the largest media organizations, that it prints her gives her the ability to claim status as one who speaks for a particular thing.

        If it was just Pandagon publishing Ms. Allard, she could be ignored as a quack speaking to other quacks, but WaPo is holding her up as a qualified speaker instead of the loon her own words reveal herself to be.

        It’s not a wild leap from “the spokesman of women is a maniac” to “women are maniacs,” which doesn’t make the second idea correct, but shouldn’t be surprising, either. In baseball, analytics were frowned upon for decades because the pioneer in the field was a security guard, instead of an ex-ballplayer. The driver of the bus does matter, when it comes to mass-perception.

        • AntiScreed

          Using the word madness in the same breath as any feminists name will get the non thinkers ire up.

      • Nate Whilk

        Is it like saying “We need to teach men not to rape”?

      • AntiScreed

        If that “equating one woman” thing works for you then by definition, feminism does not and can not exist. Feminism has said for decades that IT speaks for all women. Clinton can’t claim women WILL vote for her either.

        • Laura5757

          Where does feminism say that? I must not have gotten the memo? I say feminism is for each woman to make her own choices and be treated with equity.

          • AntiScreed

            You don’t seem capable to remember what you said just prior.

          • AntiScreed

            Ok. Each woman making her own choices. Like to murder her baby in her womb?

          • Laura5757

            Im pro-choice and abortion doesnt fall under murder.

          • AntiScreed
          • Laura5757

            Its not. Not in most industrialized countries and not in the US. Murder is a legal definition. Ever see photos of open heart surgery?

          • AntiScreed

            Murder is a moral definition. But then a murderer by omission or commission would NOT understand that. YOU fit that bill well. By your own admission, back in the old days blacks were legally only 3/5ths human hence they wouldn’t be legally human. But since morally they ARE human. WE republicans fought the democrats because it was right.

          • Laura5757

            Untrue- killing is the definition you are looking for. Murder is very much a legal distinction- as there is also manslaughter, etc. Self-defense and the death penalty are not considered murder either but rather justified killing. The difference is, blacks are persons, fetuses are not. Abortion was illegal then became legal (and rightfully so). Don’t like it, don’t have one. It really is that simple.

          • AntiScreed

            You’re an idiot and a murderer by proxy at minimum.

          • Laura5757

            In your irrelevant opinion? Whatever you need to tell yourself, go for it.

          • AntiScreed

            Not a chance it’s an opinion. Everyone here at this site knows what you are. Btw I look forward to Islam slaughtering your types when they rise. YOU are exactly the long term problem with America. Your insane pretzel logic regarding baby murder is disgusting beyond belief.

          • AntiScreed
          • Laura5757

            My types? Presbyterian? White? Female? Socially Liberal? Fiscally Conservative? The fact that you are still on about murder and think it applies to abortion when it doesn’t says a lot. Your fascination with strangers’ uteruses is just plain strange. Btw you have been flagged.

          • AntiScreed

            Fascination with stranger uteruses…lol ok lol. I’m disgusted by how easily your type can kill. God’s very clear. Good luck with all that.

          • Laura5757

            Actually there is nothing in The Bible specifically mentioning abortion…but do try again. Regardless, that is for God to judge, not you, hypocrite.

          • AntiScreed

            He didn’t kill me in the womb, with my mother as my grave. —Jeremiah 20:17

            Read more at:

          • AntiScreed

            There are many things in the bible putz.

          • AntiScreed

            Btw. Go away now lazy female. Your opinion, in particular, means nothing here.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            Yeah, and slavery wasn’t considered immoral, until it was decided it was immoral, either.
            …just puttin’ that out there…

          • Laura5757

            Except slavery impeded on one’s rights as would a ban on abortion…just saying…

          • Grim Scraggletag

            That’s actually not a bad point, Laura.
            It doesn’t neutralize my point, but it’s still a reasonable point.

            …However, I would like to take this time to point out that men in America actually have NO reproductive rights, at all, whereas women do.

          • Laura5757

            They absolutely do when it comes to not reproducing. Legally a biological father does have standing as well.

  • Kris

    Glad those kids didn’t get indoctrinated by this idiocy, brings be hope for other kids who are going to be raised by these types of nut jobs.

  • RGZ

    How to estrange your own children from you 101

  • Conej Hospital

    Why anyone would take a single mom thrice over seriously on any subject is beyond me!

  • Pssst. Mom’s nuts, I’m moving out the day I turn 18.

  • José Pablo Bolaños Rigioni

    Another mentally challenged feminist. No news here…

  • TLC

    Glad to see someone say what should be obvious: these boys need a father.

    • patriarchal landmine

      they’re teenagers. the damage is beyond done.

      the only hope now is a lifetime of therapy, and maybe a little bit of justice. they will never get either. both the left and right wing and every woman alive today will make sure of that.

  • Micha_Elyi

    When do men and boys get equal rights too?
    And when will females be called on their female privilege?

    Bottom line: Jody Allard, like other feminists, don’t consider men and boys to be people.

  • Fred_Z

    She has used under-age children in an immoral, and I hope illegal, manner.

    The boys should get a good lawyer and sue her into oblivion.

    • patriarchal landmine

      nothing more emotionally traumatizing than a man trusting the law to punish a woman for her wrongdoing. hearing the mocking laughter of an authority figure when you inform them of your mother’s abuse is almost as bad as the abuse itself.

      it’s a certain way to collapse society tho.

    • Grim Scraggletag

      Pffffft! She’s already oblivious.

  • shiny

    Jody Allard has a lot of problems. According to this, child protective services have been contacted more than once by her neighbors.

    • Odin Johansen

      “This is what a feminist looks like”, because that’s pretty much what I expected seeing her photos.

      What’s the thing about all these people who would never get any attention from a single guy (I’m surprised she was able to reproduce) talking about rape culture, cat calling etc? It seems like they should be the last person with that problem.

      And then most beautiful women tend not to be feminist, who you maybe would expect would have a bigger problem with those things related to guys. Hmmm.

      • Laura5757

        What an ignorant statement to make. Equating someone’s looks with their beliefs…wow, can you possibly get more shallow?

    • Dunsworth

      This is almost certainly not the same person.

      • shiny

        Same name, both from Seattle, both have 7 kids and the picture looks very much like a grown up version of the second one the author provided of herself in this crazy article

        in which the author acknowledges that she’s had accusations of animal abuse around her since she was a child (though, in the article, she blames this on an unnamed foster sister).

        That’s an awful lot of coincidences.

        Maybe I’d be willing to accept that there are two Jody Allards in Seattle, but two Jody Allards with exactly 7 kids and accusations of both animal and child abuse surrounding them? That’s like lightning striking the same spot 20 times in 2 minutes. The odds of two people who’ve been accused of child and animal abuse and who both have 7 kids living in the same city are long enough, but to also have the same name?

  • Brook River
  • Corpus Crispy

    Every cause seems to have its extremists and nut jobs. What bothers me more than Allard herself is that either the Washington Post editors (presumably intelligent, responsible adults) didn’t recognize Allard for what she is or that they did but still considered it okay for a mother to humiliate her teenage sons in print.

  • FutureIsNow

    I disagree there’s no rape culture in the US. Rape of men in prison is often considered funny or just, and statutory rape of boys by women (e.g. teachers) is considered harmless or even good fortune. Women get lighter or suspended sentences for the same sexual crimes as men. In fact, female sexual predation and pedophilia are still taboo topics.

    • observer52

      You confuse individual aberrant behavior with culture. If what you say is true, we have a shoplifting culture, we have a car theft culture, we definitely have a murder culture too. I could go on. There are laws against rape, shoplifting, car theft and murder. None are celebrated or promoted as great things to do by our culture. All are prosecuted with varying degrees of success.

      • Brad Crawford

        True to an extent. It’s not necessarily legality that constitutes a culture. It’s the views of the people. The vast majority view all those crimes as reprehensible however only men being raped is seen as comedic or at least a transgression that isn’t given the scrutiny it’s due and is normalized.

        • James

          You are so correct. Legality is not culture. Recreational drugs are illegal, but who denies that there is a “drug culture?” And by that definition, there is absolutely no evidence of a similarly widespread general “rape culture” which is remotely similar.

  • Big Tasty

    “…she has had no compunction about sharing very personal experiences such
    as … three failed
    marriages, … and a husband’s emotionally
    lacerating infidelity.”

    Wait. You mean men want to be with women who don’t openly hate and hector them? Beam me up, Scotty.

    I’d tell you to google a picture of her, but it’s even worse than you’d suspect.

  • Rick Caird

    Feminists are constitutionally unable to look at themselves. That is likely why they are feminists. Then they can be victims. Allard thinks she is a victim of her own sons. Sad.

  • Robert What?

    This woman is a monster. Not only do those boys have to endure “male shaming” from our entire culture, they have to go home and get it too. It is also not surprising that there is no male role model around: she probably made it impossible for any psychologically healthy male to endure being anywhere near her.

    • Laura5757

      What “male shaming” is going on in our entire culture…?! Please do enlighten me…

      • Luke

        The patriarchy theory is male-shaming by itself. DUH.

        • Laura5757

          This county was founded in patriarchy…to deny that is the equivalent of saying slavery was never the norm in this country as well- it just serves to make you look willfully ignorant and obtuse.

          • Luke

            And why is that a bad thing if that’s what the majority of women wanted? Remember, there was a movement of anti-suffragettes who didn’t want to face the same responsibilities that came with the vote that men had to deal (ie, the draft). And lucky for them, they didn’t have to face those kind of dangers.

          • Laura5757

            Being oppressed for decades doesn’t just change overnight in a person’s or society’s mindset. Here is another example, how has suddenly “liberating” oppressed countries run by dictators faired? Not too well.

  • Dunsworth

    Those poor kids. This is going to become a self-fulfilling prophecy. With that constant haranguing it’s an even bet that those boys are going to turn out alt-right, thereby “proving her right” — when it will actually be entirely her fault.

    • Chris Prestridge

      Alt-right eh? Except that the alt-right does not condone rape in any fashion period and rape is an equal opportunist across the political spectrum at best

  • DudeAbiding

    Parents like this are why foster care was invented.

    • Jim Sweet

      Not really. Haranguing over this is just something the boys will have to put up with until they’re on their own. They seem pretty well centered despite her obsessiveness. I’d bet they have good male role models somewhere, maybe school.

      • patriarchal landmine

        I hated women as much as these kids do, and my only male role models were on TV.

  • m a

    “Allard is correct that good men must be ready to come to the defense of women”

    No, absolutely not. That obligation on men was a part of the patriarchy, it’s dead. Women claim there are no obligations to men socially, then men have no obligations to women.

    Good cartoon of all things on the issue relating to rape in Europe right now (where they’ve been importing a rape culture, yet still try to lay the blame on the white male Europeans vice the actual perpetrators).

  • I would also add that being a good parent means realizing that children that age still have some growing up to do. It’s not until their mid-20s that they get a glimmer — if they’re lucky — that there’s reasons why we lecture them, as I put it, to repeat my mistakes when I was their age.

  • 2+2=4andalwayswill

    Her sons will probably forgive her because boys are so loyal to their mothers. She certainly doesn’t deserve it.

    • m a

      Forgiveness is as much as sign of healing on their part as any kind of respect for the mom.
      If they forgive, they will not hold onto resentment waiting on their mother to come to some kind of epiphany realizing the harm she’s done. They won’t be stuck in time waiting on her to apologize/obsessing over past wrongs, they can instead move forward with their own lives.

      • patriarchal landmine

        if the wrongdoer is never punished, then forgiveness is not a sign of healing, but of irredeemable mental scarring.

        women are almost never punished for their child abuse, because the child is considered to be the woman’s personal property.

        • m a

          If you’re going to wait around expecting the other person to be punished or repent, you are then giving them control over your life. What happens if they’re never punished? Are you going to be trapped there, waiting endlessly before you can heal? I’m not saying you’re not affected by what they did. But in some cases, not forgiving is placing continuing control over your life to another person.

        • Grim Scraggletag
    • OrneryLurker

      I certainly hope so for her sake. OTOH she might alienate them enough that they just wash their hands of her.

    • Brian

      With any luck, they’ll forgive her for their own sake, and cut all ties. Forgive, but not forget.

      • 2+2=4andalwayswill

        I don’t think cutting ties is really possible. Mom is forever mom. That’s been my experience anyway.

    • Chief Smakaho

      Anyone else rooting for them to just lose it one day and stab this bìtch in neck with a dinner fork? …..Just me?

      • Harvey Birdman, Esq.

        Far better for them to –against all odds– grow into balanced, sane, politically moderate young men of character, who treat women with respect and calmly but firmly reject her extremism. That would make for a lifetime of what amounts to Chinese water torture for her.

        • Luke

          Even better. Hopefully they’ll become outspoken MRAs.

      • 2+2=4andalwayswill

        Well…that would not be a good outcome for them. Fortunately, I’m Catholic so I think she’ll get her comeuppance at the Pearly Gates. Or at least have to face her conscience in purgatory. Not sure how all that works but SOMETHING is gonna happen.

  • Edward H. Adamsky

    This “creep-shaming” as I call it is not new. Men have been berated for years for their masculinity and sexuality. If one were to question a woman’s sexuality you would be “slut-shaming”. When you criticize a man, its the same thing. Only men are “creepy” when they express sexuality so it’s creep-shaming.

    • Laura5757

      Who is shaming men for being sexually active? There are things that are creepy such as leering at a stranger, following them, spying on them and making lewd sexual comments…would that be what you mean by creep shaming?

      • Luke

        In your mind, they’re creepy. As a woman, you get to decide what’s creepy and what’s not. Do you see why this might feel imbalanced to men? You’re using society to micromanage and control male behavior, even if it’s not meant to creep you out. What if someone just so happens to be staring at you but his mind is somewhere else? This kind of thing happens all the time and that’s why it’s wrong to label and judge human behavior before you actually know the whole story. Innocent until proven guilty.

        • Laura5757

          No, not at all actually, plenty of my guy friends who were athletes in college were stalked by unwanted “groupies” and they were absolutely creeped out by it. Male behavior? You have a strange idea of what is generally “male behavior”, I have friends and family who are male and they have never nor would ever leer at women and creep them out- because they were raised to respect women and were socialized properly. I don’t care if people blankly stare at me- there is a huge difference between looking, staring mindlessly and leering creepily. Leering creepily is usually but not always accompanied by some disgusting comment or simulated sexual movement. The fact that I have to explain the difference signifies to me that you are genuinely relatively unaware of what many females go through regarding street harassment.

  • Quistis Trepe

    She needs therapy. Her relationship with her sons can’t withstand her burdening THEM with dealing with her PTSD from her past sexual assault and her self-loathing about her malformed hand. Guys tend to treat women well when they are treated with love and kindness by their moms throughout their lives. She’s having a fit because her “boys” are turning into MEN, and she has a huge problem with MEN due to her emotional baggage.

  • Sieglinde Holznudel

    A comment section filled with crap. By mostly men. What a surprise.

  • NoPasaran

    The only people who do ANYTHING about rape are men.

    No, men do not HAVE to engage in activism about this, just as no individual in a free society is obliged to do this. One need not be a rapist to not spend time and effort on others’ pet issues at the expense of your own.

  • anon234324

    I had the unfortunate position of working along side a vocal 40 year old man hater for 5 years. Every conversation turned to how all men were worthless scum, and how much of a disappointment her 16 year old son was. While he tried as hard as he could not to be a man, hair to his waist, multiple piercings, makeup, numerous attempted suicides, and self loathing and self mutilating behaviors. I sometimes wonder if he survived to break free of her, and gain self respect.

  • Terrence S M Popp

    this is typical cant understand normal thinking, that feminists employ

    • Chief Smakaho

      Love your videos, dude. I’m a subscriber. I also live in Michigan. Keep doing what you’re doing. Men need to be educated.

      • Grim Scraggletag

        Yup. My girlfriend and I are both subbed to Mr. Popp!

    • Grim Scraggletag

      Hey, Terrence! Good to see ya here!

  • Brian Wachs

    A white couple raising an adopted black child to hate himself for his race commit the kind of hate crime that is impossible to forgive.

    A female raising her male children to hate themselves for their gender is no better.

    • Grim Scraggletag

      Excellent parallel.

  • Wayworn Wanderer

    Another day, another whiney bimbo in the Post. What are the odds?

  • caradoc

    ” Not all men, they remind me, and my guts wrench as my own sons mimic the vitriol of a thousand online trolls.”
    Sad how saying “not all men are rapists” is considered vitriolic trolling by these pathetic people. Feminism has become a parody of itself.

  • curmudgeoninchief

    I think what we are looking at here is a serious case of estrogen poisoning. I’m not sure there is a cure short of leaving the sufferer alone.

  • sestamibi

    Eh, could be worse. Leftist lesbian commentator Sally Kohn once expressed extreme disappointment that her daughter showed interest in boys.

  • Chance Boudreaux

    Feminist writer from Seattle is all that needs to be said. I remember going to Bumbershoot in Seattle and these feminist girls would wear see-through bras (no shirt) and get butt-hurt if you looked at their nipples. Ladies, if you don’t want bugs flying around your entryway, don’t turn your lights on.

  • Bullitt

    I am more worried about my son being falsely accused of rape than my daughter being raped at college.

  • AymiRdae

    how typical. a comment I tried to post 2 hours ago is still “pending” approval. probs not enough sexism and feminist-bashing for this thread.

  • AymiRdae

    sexism, gender-based slurs and, of course, much whining – exactly the quality of commentary I would expect in response to an article that encourages denigration/vilification of women and feminist-bashing. why am I not surprised?

    • Estwald

      …much whining…

      Stop whining about other people whining.

      • AymiRdae

        just an observation. no whining required when you live an empowered life 😉

        • Andy C

          so the article writer and commentators are just living an empowered life, by airing their own observations? Make up your mind.

          • AymiRdae

            you accused me of whining, so I was just clarifying for you. And I only speak for myself. Not a lot of observations in the commentary, but lots of whining and sexist insults. Indicating a lot of hurt man-feels.
            why. so. serious. guys?

          • Grim Scraggletag
          • Grim Scraggletag

            You prove yourself to be the sexist sow that you are, Aymi.

            “Man-Feels”? …Feelings are a HUMAN thing, Aymi. Why are women’s feeling just “feelings”, but men’s are “Man-Feels”? And why are men’s feelings and issues of less credence and importance than women’s?
            Answer: Feelings are a HUMAN thing. To discern between any feelings of any group of human beings is, in and of itself, an act of, demonstrable DISCRIMINATION.
            You are the “Privileged” bigot, here, Aymi. Not the other posters. And your very words and attitudes tip your hand.

          • AymiRdae

            And there we go. was wondering how long it would take for the personal insults to start rolling. “sexist sow”… so predictable. I can recommend a good counselor for you both.

          • Grim Scraggletag

            Yup. You feminists love your “Shame & Blame” tactics, don’t ya?

            Instead of arguing the actual points, ya always go for the shame and blame.
            Too bad that won’t work to silence me, Kiddo.
            I have NOTHING to lose, by speaking my mind.
            Absolutely NOTHING.

          • Andy C

            Where did I accuse that?

            This should be good. You might want to reconsider the use of the shovel you seem to be eyeing up.

          • AymiRdae

            “Stop whining about other people whining” – Andy C

          • Estwald

            Hey! I’m the one who told you to “Stop whining about other people whining.” Stop giving other people credit for my line or I’ll have to whine about it, then you’ll whine about me whining, and on, and on, and on… ad infinitum. Stop already.

          • AymiRdae

            credit where it’s due!

          • Andy C

            That’s not quoted from me. You just out right lied to justify your self.

          • AymiRdae

            whoops. sorry. you all sound the same.

          • Andy C

            Could be worse, could believe in feminism and actually be indoctrinated into the same insanity as you …

          • Grim Scraggletag

            AymiRdae said: ” Not a lot of observations in the commentary, but lots of whining and sexist insults. Indicating a lot of hurt man-feels.”

            Yeah, well, funny how if you go to MRA (Men’s Rights Activists) comment sections you NEVER see MEN post such hate like “#KillAllWomen”, but go to nearly ANY feminist comment sections, online, and you sure will see a lot of “#KillAllMen” “#CastrateAllMen” and that sort of crap, now won’t ya, Aymi? So if I were you, I’d tone down the hypocrisy, a little, huh?
            Below are just a FEW examples of the sort of vitriolic, Naziesque hate one finds on any given Feminist blog, discussions page, website and God knows, all over Tumblr. …Rarely, if EVER will you see men espousing such hate, dehumanization and antipathy for or against women. …Like I said… Ya might wanna check your hypocrisy.
            Thank you, very much.


          • AymiRdae

            whoa check out the memes on Scragglebags! you must have a Masters from the University of Memology.

            here’s something different for you – A FACT – approx 95% of assault/rape/murder of women is perpetrated by men, who are current or ex-partners of their victims. So, based on this FACT, I would ask you “why do men HATE US so much and want to KILL US??”

            anyhoo… you seem to have A LOT of time on your hands. How about you stop frothing at feminists in forums and direct your energy into actually helping men? K? good luck with your Phd 😉

          • Grim Scraggletag

            LOL! You’re one to talk. You’re here more than I am.

            Anyway…, You seem to be the atypical feminist. Instead of addressing the points you attack the person making them. ….I have been at this for a very long time. And one thing I’ve learned about feminists is that once they pull out the ol’ Feminist “Shame & Blame” handbook, they’ve already lost the “debate”.

            You are also one to talk about “FACTS”, Aymi. You continue to believe in “Patriarchy”, despite the FACT it is demonstrably proven untrue, you believe in the “Gender-Wage-Gap” despite the FACT that that, too is not only demonstrably provably untrue, it has been CONCLUSIVELY proven untrue…, yet Feminists continue to push the myths of both “Patriarchy” and the “Gender-Wage-Gap”. This is why (Modern) Feminism has lost so much of it’s credibility. People can find the truth for themselves and it doesn’t take (too) much work, to do so.

            As far as your assumptions that I do not do actual hands-on Men’s Activism…. Well…, I may be wonderful, but you’re wrong.
            I actually attend Men’s Rights meetings, rallies and forums, regularly.
            And here’s a bonus tidbit of info about me that you also didn’t know…, I have been active in WOMEN’S issues, as well (when necessary).

            Such assumptions make you look dumb, Aymi. …And just from reading some of your comments, I don’t take you for being “Dumb”. Otherwise, I would have stopped replying to you, long ago.

            And, in conclusion. You gave me statistics on women’s issues (which I have duly noted and saved), so here are statistics on men’s issues …which if you really are the atypical feminists you will both ignore, and try to explain away. BUT…, since I don’t know, for certain, if you are the atypical feminist, I’ll post them, anyway.
            Incidentally, I do not get ANY of my stats or info from biased sources, the way most feminists do. (i.e. Tumblr, Feminist Blogs, Feminist-Confirmation-Biased websites, Webmags, etc). I get (most) of it directly from the Department Of Justice’s and F.B.I.’s violent crimes statistics and studies.

            Men pay 97% of Alimony

            Men make 94% of work suicides.

            Men make up 93% of work fatalities.

            Men make up 81% of all war deaths.

            Men lose custody in 84% of divorces.

            80% of all suicides are men.

            77% of homicide victims are men.

            89% of men will be the victim of at least one violent crime.

            Men are over twice as victimized by strangers (both male and female strangers) as women.

            Men are 165% more likely to be convicted than women.

            Men get 63% longer sentences than women for the same (or even lesser) crime.

            Court bias against men is at least 6 times higher than racial bias.

            Males are discriminated against in school and University.

            70-80% of the homeless are men.

            Women’s Cancers receive 15 times more funding than men’s

            At least 10% of fathers are victims of paternity fraud.

            One third of all fathers in the USA have lost custody of children, most are expected to pay for this.

            Boys under the age of consent, if raped by a female perpetrator, are often forced (in all 50 states) to PAY ALIMONY FOR THE BABY, IF THE FEMALE PERPETRATOR BECOMES PREGNANT AND GIVES BIRTH.

            More than 70% of domestic violence is against men however less than 1% of domestic violence shelter spaces are for men.

            Male fatality rates are vastly higher than women’s

            Worldwide there are 107 men born for every 100 women, by age 65 there are 78 men for every 100 women, in countries like the USA & UK, its even worse, with 75/76 men for every 100 women. Despite the fact that health care spending for men is nearly twice as effective. In the few countries that have a majority male population and a preference for male children like China, Sons are legally obliged to care for parents when they are older, where as daughters are not. Many other countries like India have this as a social obligation.

            Despite all the pressures and risks facing men today support services for men are almost non existent compared to services for women. There are departments for women’s issues in the White House and the UN, but none for men. The UN promotes genital mutilation of male children but condems female genital mutilation. This is Real Sexism.

            THE REAL MONEY GAP.

            Men earn 61.5% of all income but only account for 25% of domestic spending. Men only spend 40% of what they earn after tax. In contrast women make up 38.5% of all income but control 75% of domestic spending, women on average spend 90% MORE MONEY THAN THEY EARN. Men are exploited as cash machines and even with spending on children accounted for women still spend more money on themselves than the combined spending for men and children. This can even be observed in the floor space allocated to women’s products in most shopping centres.


            Men pay over 70% of income tax but the vast majority of public spending is on services for women. There is more money spent on breast cancer than lung cancer and prostate cancer combined, despite the fact that lung cancer alone has 3-4 times more fatalities than breast cancer. A man’s chance of getting cancer is 44% and 23% of men will die from cancer, 38% of women get cancer and 19% die. Yet there is vastly more money spent on cancer for women, this is lethal discrimination. Women pay 60% less tax despite spending 300% more in domestic spending than men. Women also consume two third of public spending, there are 3 times the amount of gender specific health services for women than men despite the fact that for equal increases in health spending a man’s life expectancy rate increases nearly twice as much as a woman’s.


            There are hundreds of surveys which shows women are as violent if not more violent than men in domestic violence cases. Men get arrested in 85% of all arrests but its estimated that Women are the perpetrators in most Domestic Violence cases. Most reciprocal violence is started by women and 70% of non reciprocal violence is perpetrated by women. Women however only get arrested in 15% of all DV arrests. This example of 572 different studies covering 371,600 people demonstrate that women are as physically aggressive, or more aggressive, than men in their relationships with their spouses or male partners.

            More men than women were victims of intimate partner physical violence and over 70% of severe physical violence was directed at men.

            Despite this though,99.3% of DV shelter spaces are for women and even men who report violence against them by women are arrested far more often than the woman who is attacking them.
            (I have NEVER seen any stats that indicate that any woman, in the U.S. has ever been arrested when she has been the victim of domestic violence by a male partner).

            Now…, Aymi… Before you excuse these issues away… ask yourself this…: If ANY of these issues were issues facing WOMEN, instead of men…, would you give them full credence, and importance.., or would you excuse them away. …If Feminists are REALLY for “equality”, wouldn’t BOTH women’s AND men’s issues be given equal credence, credibility and importance?
            …Funny how with modern feminism, ALL women’s issues ARE given credence, credibility and importance, regardless of what they are.
            Yet…, they excuse away nearly if not all men’s issues.
            ….Quite a coinkydink, eh, Aymi…?

          • Luke

            And none of those statistics might contribute to male violent behavior?? LMAO

          • Grim Scraggletag

            I think she HAS a made-up mind.

        • Grim Scraggletag
        • Grim Scraggletag


        • Estwald

          Then why are you whining?

    • Grim Scraggletag

      Feminists always believe these things to be a “One-Way” street.
      Imagine what we could accomplish for REAL equality, if feminists were REALLY for REAL equality.
      As it stands, now.., If it were not for DOUBLE STANDARDS, feminists would have NO standards, at all…

    • Grim Scraggletag

      Hating feminism is NOT the same as “Hating Women”. Don’t be obtuse.
      I hate Nazis, too, but that doesn’t mean I hate GERMANS.

    • Grim Scraggletag
  • LanceSmith

    You had me right up until you said, “….living, breathing demonstration of how to be a man who respects and protects women”

    A man is not required to “protect” women …. and such a requirement is absolutely not respectful. Women can handle themselves.

    That’s where both she and you have it wrong. Men aren’t doormats. They are living, breathing humans who deserve to be treated with the same level of respect women have come to expect. Suggesting it is their job to “protect” women is misguided. While to may feel nice to the chivalrous, it is not egalitarian.

    • Mike Sternberg

      There is nothing sexist about making sure men and boys know it is their duty to protect those around them that are weaker than them. Men and boys on average are stronger and more aggressive than the rest of us.If women and girls were equal in that respect than we would allow them to fight men in the ring. BTW Protecting those weaker than you means respecting them and treating them with dignity at all times. Of course, GUNS make anyone at all the equal of any man. Simply, arm all women with handguns and watch rapes become a thing of the past.

      • Grim Scraggletag
      • Plasmabunny

        Except that it really isn’t their duty to protect anyone.

        Protecting those weaker than yourself is an admirable trait. But sometimes, you have to choose between protecting yourself, and protecting someone else. It’s healthy and acceptable to protect yourself by not getting involved.

        I generally like to protect others, but there are times that doing so has caused me more trouble than its worth. Also, there are plenty of times where I’ve assumed risk, but there was zero benefit to protecting another person.

        I don’t regret making the decisions I did because they reinforced my sense of who I want to be. But I wouldn’t expect that behaviour from others. What if they don’t really care? Why should they have to assume risk when they don’t see any value in it.

        Seeing men protecting others as a “duty” in a world where doing so conveys only risks and no benefits, is an unfair social tax on men.

    • Luke

      That expectation is actually archaic. That is the patriarchy that they hate so much. Our function is to protect and serve the woman. They’re not being at all progressive by playing the self-sacrificing doormat for women.

  • Michael M

    Excellent article. This mother sounds like a pure lunatic (she’s a feminist, so I know that’s redundant to say), and I hope these boys can stay the strong self-thinking young men they are and continue to resist her vile hectoring. I can’t even imagine what it’s like being a young boy in today’s world.

  • phil8

    Hillary abuses emails…Bill abuses females

  • Abu Nudnik

    This is sad. I hope they get their own homes soon and meet a couple of sane women who don’t think the whole world sharpens its knives to attack them. Their mother is paranoiac. She is also an actor in a movement toward an emasculation culture.

    • Luke

      Sane women in today’s market? I don’t want these boys taking that risk frankly.

  • slack

    “Allard is correct that good men must be ready to come to the defense of women,”

    If I do act is sexist, if I don’t act its sexist…… didn’t create this dilemma, women did!

    Answer: “Just walk on by….”

  • FemaNAZI who hates her own children because they are male, and are bright enough not to share her “rape culture” delusions./

    Rape Culture | Women’s Center | Marshall University…/rape-culture/
    Marshall University
    Rape Culture is an environment in which rape is prevalent and in which sexual violence against women is normalized and excused in the media and popular culture.

    This crazy-woman believes that rape is PREVALENT in our culture, and excused by everyone.

  • Luke

    I said it before and I’ll say it again, I feel so bad for any boy born to one of these psychopaths. They’ll be shamed and hated for every natural impulse until they start wanting to wear dresses… because being a female is the only decent way to be right? It’s like in The Red Dragon where grandma was threatening to cut off Ralph Fiennes’s penis as a child simply because she caught him masturbating. It’s disgusting. It’s a form of child abuse whether they know it or not.

    Luckily, I was born to wonderful mother (god rest her) who actually loved men and boys. She actually wanted me to be a boy. And she was as independent and strong-willed a woman as you can ask for.