The Case Against Man Caves

The only feature more requested by prospective buyers on HGTV real estate and renovation programs than an open-concept floor plan is a “man cave”—a room dedicated to the hobbies (usually alcohol and sports) of the man of the house. This is a malignant trend, both a symptom and, in turn, a cause of a juvenile, individualist masculinity that undermines family life.

There is, of course, a long history of specifically male spaces in the family home; workshops and studies come to mind. So the man cave is neither unique nor problematic just for being an isolated male space. And while one might say that booze and sports represent a degradation not just of masculinity but of humanity from literature and craftsmanship, we won’t pursue that line of argument here.

What differentiates the man cave from these more traditional male spaces is that workshops and studies are designed to accommodate a particular, elevating interest. These rooms are only isolated inasmuch as the activities proper to them are best pursued without distraction. With the man cave, however, the isolation from the family—the escape—is the primary purpose of the space. The man cave, therefore, is the image of the traditional male space without its substance.

Of course, a workshop or study could become an escape—a place to hide from family duties or to indulge selfish habits. But this would be a misuse, or abuse, of a space set aside for humane recreations. By contrast, the man cave by its very name announces that it is for me. Whatever happens in the room is merely an artifact of my desires and my personality.

The implication is that the rest of the house—the joint bedroom and the nice kitchen and the kids’ messy quarters and the other TV room—cannot adequately serve me and my precious individuality. (Women, apparently, are not such fragile snowflakes that they need their own room to express themselves. After all, she has the kitchen, right?) Worse, the man cave implies antagonism between the father’s masculine identity and his family identity and duties.

Setting aside a space specifically as a masculine escape from the family signals that masculinity and family life are in tension. Whereas the mother can actualize her full identity in family life, the father, by this logic, can only do so away from family life. This reinforces two damaging notions: first, that the father’s “natural environment” is not in the home participating in communal life, and second, that the family is nothing more than a group of individuals pursuing their own self-interest and self-actualization—and that those interests and identities, especially between the father and his wife and children, are necessarily in conflict.

Both of these notions corrode the cohesion of the family, whose strength as a social unit emerges from and depends on the effacing of the self in the service of community. Otherwise it’s just a bunch of strangers living together.

To be sure, the family cannot be the alpha and the omega of a man’s identity. But neither can it be so for a woman. We all have interests and hobbies and little sanctuaries, physical or psychological, that give us respites from the exigencies of family life and that inform our self-understanding. That’s natural and good. But these aspects of our individual identities should not be placed in conflict with the family identity. After all, personality is most fully expressed not in isolation, but in community.

This concept is especially important for men, who are acutely tempted by the wider culture to a self-destructive individualism. Whereas traditional male spaces signal that masculinity can be expressed through development of elevating personal interests, the man cave signals that masculinity is expressed through escape into a self-made, self-indulgent preserve. This is a corrosive masculinity that dissolves family solidarity and ultimately (and ironically) one’s very sense of self.

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198 responses to “The Case Against Man Caves

  1. This article is nonsense from top to bottom. The critical significance of the “man cave” is as a space specifically under his dominion, where the contemporary dominance of the house by the woman is absent.

    Women have largely crowded men and masculine pursuits into the unfinished spaces of the home. This is pernicious in the extreme, yet as matters stand, the only countermeasures are his assertion of authority over the entire home, which most women will not tolerate, the “man cave” where his will prevails, or his absence from the home. The first, in this er a of no-fault divorce, is a shortcut to a broken home. Nullify the second option and you’ll get the third one. Think about it.

    1. You got that right.
      Btw I wanted to tell you how much I enjoy your site “LIberty’s Torch”. I read it every day.

      1. Men are the new Jew and Feminazis are still just NAZIs. I’m not getting onto that high speed rail without a fight dimwitted Liberals…

      2. No to tell the truth…the super beta male does not dare to have a “Man cave”…his wife simply won’t let him anyway.

    2. “Women have largely crowded men and masculine pursuits into the unfinished spaces of the home. This is pernicious in the extreme…”

      Women are such tyrants Francis but you’ll never know the full extent. I was married to an interior decorator for fifteen years. She’s gone now but the man cave remains! ….still in the unfinished spaces of the house….

  2. To quote one of my favorite philosophers – “What a maroon!” That quote comes from to-many-to mention Bugs Bunny cartoons. In a valiant attempt to accurately ascertain which particular episodes this appeared in, I will retire to my man cave and watch cartoons until I forget I have family.

  3. man caves are useless . every other room has a purpose but not man caves . They are a fad of an overly indulgent and decadent society and will , like the pet rock, disappear in time. This makes them a lousy investment .

    1. No they’re not. They allow a woman to isolate all of the guy’s stuff that will clash with the decor in the rest of the house. Citations and awards from his work, memorabilia, mementos he’s collected over his life… a place for his friends to come and visit and be kept out of her way while they are there.

    2. I don’t really care what a Gaynazi thinks about me or what I do. Its time to send these feminist men back into the closet already.

  4. This is basically another attempt to feminize men, retrain them to think like a woman, and chip away at their traditional values and pursuits. A simple dog house in the back of the yard just big enough to fit in, with a bell to ring for when needed, would probably be the writer’s best recommendation should he be brave enough to make it as an appropriate place for men when not earning money.

  5. Women usually have the entire house to “express their individuality”, while the mans individuality is either in storage or long ago donated to charity as unfit for belonging in a home. A mans study is long gone, usually converted into a kids room or guest room.
    But, I guess one room in the house that the man is most likely paying for where he feels comfortable and has the choice to decorate is just too much of a threat to todays female worshippers.

  6. In an article about the man-cave, I would have expected, from this usually mature website, an analysis of what it is and where it came from, some mention of the push of feminists to gain a place in previously held male institutions, professions, and the like, while retaining women-only facilities like, for example, the many university faculty clubs reserved for women only. Yet we get only a denunciation of childish, self-regarding men who have spaces without functions. Rather than complaining of the lack of focus and function, we get a fruitless prudish attack on the sad skin of the workshop that has been lost. The whole article is exactly what it condemns. If I didn’t know better, I’d think the author was courting the kind of filly who only lets a gelding in her stall. Do I need to underline how fruitless such a pursuit would be?

    PS: Many years ago, I had a room to practice my art: painting. My ex-wife insisted, out of churlish jealousy, on a room where she did nothing. So the author is wrong in fact too.

    1. …this usually mature website…

      You must be reading a different site than I am. I usually just come here to gawk at the myopia.

  7. I have a studio, not a man cave. But from what I see of most man caves is that the family is a part of that space as well. I think you need a new hobby.

  8. If you want family solidarity, make men equal to women regarding divorce rights, sharing of custody of children, and equal financial obligations. Stop giving women preferences over men.

  9. Eh, a man having his den/study isn’t a recent development.

    What is recent is men trying to be nice to the wife and to make her happy go along with however she wants the rest of the house decorated. Happy wife, happy life. So, why is it surprising that a wife in return compromises and the man gets to decorate one room- call it a den/study/man cave/game room– whatever. Why not? If there’s a spare room, and the man really doesn’t have any strong feelings about how the rest of the house should be decorated. What’s the problem with two adults reaching a mutually agreeable compromise?

    People nowadays want to make the biggest deals over the mos trivial things.

      1. I guess its how you see it. I just see it as a guy is willing to compromise because he enjoys seeing his wife happy, since he loves her. Perhaps its that I see that implicit in the phrase is that he is doing it because his wife is also making similar compromises to please him.

        But I do see how you can read it in the way you do as well.

        1. The reason many women give when they divorce their husbands (and women initiate 70% of divorces) is “I’m not haaapppyyyy anymore.” The implicit threat to men in a phrase like “happy wife, happy life” is that you’d better comply with her wishes or she’ll divorce you or make your life miserable.

          1. Yeah, I’m aware if the phenomena of female mid-life depression and blaming the husband for unhappiness. ‘I love you but I’m not in love with you.” Ex went through it, but I kept the house, the kids, and she visits them regularly. With me they’re in a stable home without risk from whoever she gets involved with, our home is a lot less stressful without her.

          2. Sun Tzu’s ‘The Art of War’, if you know your enemy and yourself you need fear no conflict.

            Notice how many guys wives leave with the kids, demand support and then suddenly have trouble dealing with the kids, or want him to take them on her time. Shaming them with– you should be grateful to spend more time with them!! I realized my ex would find the kids inconvenient, insist I take them or make the kids uncomfortable to be in her home. As the paperwork went through drafts I’d just ask for it to reflect what we were doing. By the time we signed it, 6 months after she moved out, I had full custody. No fuss, no arguing, no confrontation– demanding it from the start would have put her back up. Just a bit of patience.

      2. Emotional blackmail is exactly what it is. It’s not even true: you’re not really happy when you’re being emotionally blackmailed. I hear this phrase exclusively from men whose wives are vicious harridans. Men who are truly happy in their marriages never see things in those terms.

  10. “The implication is that the rest of the house—the joint bedroom and the nice kitchen and the kids’ messy quarters and the other TV room—cannot adequately serve me and my precious individuality.”

    Let is understand this as men are best used for a woman’s sexual needs, men must cook and clean, and men must watch what their wife agrees to. Yes, it is all about making the woman happy. No, the result is not a happy life.

    1. Agree; the writer sounds like a malcontented woman hostile to men—that is to say, of course, a feminist.

  11. Lots of things guys are interested in are loud. Sports, action movies, heavy metal, playing guitar, playing video games, etc. Often the man cave is just a place for those activities to be pursued without disturbing the rest of the family. I don’t know any man that doesn’t welcome everyone in the family into their cave and most are used and enjoyed by the family. The man part of the man cave title is really just an indicator of who get’s design decisions about the room. The man gets to put sports jerseys on the wall of the cave and the woman gets to put 100 decorative pillows on the bed and doilies in the living room. The cave can also serve as a safe place for expensive electronics, instruments, and collectables while the kids are small by making it off limits without supervision.

  12. That is so f’ing ugly. I only know a few man cave kind of people but this is exactly what happens when you start paying burger flippers $15 an hour.

  13. Nothing wrong with a man wanting to get away from the wife and kids from time to time. The man cave is just a version of the men’s club in a society that, no longer recognizing the right of free association, makes that kind of club impossible.

  14. Reading this article made me want to despair.

    Reading (most of) the comments helped me overcome.

    Brandon, you should try and find out who these commenters are, spend some time with them, rediscover your testosterone and enjoy it!

      1. Can’t tell if this is sarcasm. In either case, there are some fantastic women who champion men’s rights, such as Karen Straughan and Hannah Wallen.

  15. A better analysis would be why/how the feminist movement has pushed men out of the family life proper and relegated it to a minimal space, even in the house, as well as the society and the damage that has done to our families. Even the name “man-cave” is derogatory and diminutive.

  16. Author conveniently ignores fact that people with income and space enough for a man cave often have income and space enough to provide the wife and children with their own room for their own purposes, interests and hobbies. A sewing room might be a more apt comparison, and certainly with less implied sexism by the author. All husbands assume that the wife’s space is in the kitchen? GTFO.

    Man caves also serve the purpose of removing the husbands direct personality from the decor of the shared home. We live in a consumer geek culture now, and the rise of man caves coincides with said rise. (And also, as others have pointed out, with the concerted effort to get rid of all traditional spaces where men would gather socially.) People have and can afford to obsess and collect a multitude of different, fairly esoteric things. Movies, comics, sports, video games,, action figures, etc. etc. etc. These often take up space, and cost money.

    Who really wants a shared house cluttered with jerseys and toys and posters advertising the personal interests of one particular person? Why not move all of said items into one location, one typically kept away from guests and typical shared living spaces? This 1) Keeps the house looking in order and not as cluttered with random crap, and 2) keeps said items out of the hands of children who might play with or destroy something that holds a lot of value, both personal and financial.

    Ignorant author writes ignorant article. I mean, really, how is the man-cave not the exact same thing as a study or den, only modified for current interests and cultural pursuits?

  17. Another backstabbing feminized eunuch, doing the bidding of the femi-nazis trying to crush all things manly. It’s bad enough we have to finance government agencies to extort our jobs and our wealth so they can be handed to women, force women into special forces so they can wear berets and pretend their warriors, drug our little boys to keep them meek and docile because they’re not allowed to play sports in schools. Now they want our only solitude so there’s no escape.

    Maybe Sharia law won’t be so bad.

    1. Sharia law will be the ultimate poetic justice for these feminists and the mangina that wrote this article.

  18. Women refuse to let the bread winner have his own space down in the basement. The wife gets to decorate a whole house spend all the money on curtains and rugs without a peep from the husband. He has no say in any color schemes in the house and his opinion if given is ignored, so the last space the husband has the selfish women wants to occupy it and take over. The wife has to control his every mood, whim or fancy. Women like her need something, but I bet she isn’t getting it from her husband

  19. Sorry to inform you of this by the man-cave is a spot where the guy makes the choices. Whereas the rest of the house is all about the wifes desires in terms of decoration, furniture, etc.

    1. This hits the nail on the head! Exactly. Every can of paint, every piece of furniture, ever appliance generally has to have the female seal of approval. I have a tiny little “office” in my basement that has one chair (that I picked) so as to not invite my better half to sit down… and all the pictures on the wall I picked. Does this mean I hate my family? Geez lighten up. There is nothing wrong with so called man caves – which presumably she had to give her OK anyway.

  20. I’m against man caves too. It’s much better to live on your own and have the whole place for yourself with no women around telling you what you can and can’t do.

  21. Virtue signaling, by a beta male hoping to get laid.
    After all the damage progressives have already done to the family with ‘single mother homes’, I think he would have better spent his time discussing how no Father in the house might be a little worse than one that watches Football in his ‘Man Cave’.

  22. My man cave is an outbuilding and is adorned with the trappings of my misspent youth. Known as “The Barn” it is constantly evolving in decor and use. I feel sorry for those who don’t have their own space to in which be creative. The author is a wuss.

    1. history will show the greatest “Re- gressive ” policies of the gender-feminists…were pushing so many perversions and manufactured statistics Alliances into state law enforcement ( And state law enforcement Greedily took the federal pork)…….Until we reached the point where hetero-relationships became such a legal liability guys went MGTOW…just to keep their due process rights.

    2. STOP fighting “libidiots” wars for it.

      Capitalism and Protestantism’s simpering-ness is to blame.

  23. the typical modern “man cave” (especially per the HGTV formula) is nothing more than a room of the house which is allowed to have an allegedly masculine design motif. It’s not a “no icky girls allowed space”, as it’s likely to be used to entertain couples or families on Football Sunday or movie night.
    A real man cave would more likely be a shed or garage where guys could go to smoke, cuss and talk guy talk while we wrenched on the cars or bikes or built stuff.

  24. “Women, apparently, are not such fragile snowflakes that they need their own room to express themselves.”

    Are you saying women don’t want a room of one’s own?

  25. I whole heartedly agree with the author. The vast sea of so-called manly men here decrying the loss of their toys being washed away in a tsunami of wussification only proves the author’s point; modern manliness has little to do with virtue, craft, stewardship, or the family and everything to do with vulgarity, licentiousness and slavery to bread and circus. The great men of antiquity would weep at this utterly unbridled and vicious addiction to deified appetite.

    1. The great men of antiquity would weep at the idea of emancipating women.

      The man cave is the direct result of female emancipation. The man has the man cave, the woman has the rest of the house and the man’s balls in her purse.

    1. Yep, if you’re reduced to whining about man caves, you must be the person who just can’t handle happiness and needs a reason to get upset. This ain’t something to get upset about…

    2. Oh, yes it is Rick. Millions of men have already gone MGTOW and refuse cohabitation with the modern female, much less marriage. Their entire domicile is theirs, hence no need for a man cave. The man cave trend is driven by men desperate for respite from their “strong, empowered, independent” wives who they despise as much as their wives despise them but can’t afford the balance sheet destroying divorce where she gets all the assets and he gets all the liabilities, plus alimony and Title IV-D child support payments as an added bonus. This is another manifestation of the feminist efforts to destroy the nuclear family. It is rather simple – a man cave is much cheaper than getting rid of the feminist harpy. Cheers.

      1. Wow, I feel very sorry for you and your misogyny. How about it is something as simple as the wife does not want to watch football and the man does? Why should they both not be able to each watch what he wants .

          1. John was not denouncing men. He was denouncing women. You would do well to review the definitions of misandry and misogyny.

          2. Read it again, Rick, John is denouncing the mistreatment of and antipathy for males, i.e., misandry. He is not casting aspersions on all women, only on those women who mistreat men.

          3. Well, I think you have misread it. The screed was basically a defense of men and attack on women, more than just feminists and feminism. That would make it misogyny, not misandry.

          4. My comment was a reply to John. This whole thread has been a reply to John’s comment. Maybe you are confused as to what this thread is about. Why don’t you look at it in the discussion. I am giving you the benefit of the doubt. See if you can man up.

          5. “See if you can man up.”

            That’s quite pathetic.

            You do realise that’s feminist shaming language you are using?

          6. No, is not feminist language. It has been used for years. It is interesting though that you cannot respond to actual arguments. Now, that is the definition of pathetic.

          7. I guess you have no interest in a serious discussion.

            The only place “man up” is mentioned in your reference is in a comment. But, in my circles, which do not include a single feminist, male or female, “man up” refers to “grow up and face your problems and stop whining”. It has nothing at all to do with women.

          8. You;re an idiot, rick. And it’s genetic –you’re form a long line of them.

            Capitalism and Christianity keeps your ilk alive.

    3. Acculturated seems to glory in taking nothing issues and heaping pretension and a misplaced sense of meaning on them.

      The only other thing they do as well is “Young People Lecturing About Stuff That’s Been Happening Forever, But Which They Believe They Discovered.”

  26. I like that this write-up provoked such a response. The history behind this stuff is interesting.

    The feminist response to the man-cave will be a demand for an equally expensive woman-cave, making it cost prohibitive for most men. They’re flailing for now & still trying to play the politically untenable “ban the man-cave” card. But they’ll eventually figure it out. See: Title IX.

    PS-all this alpha/beta talk is unpersuasive. The concept can be useful. Unctious people-pleasers (betas, in your parlance) are a genetic & social dead-end. But the alpha/beta paradigm ultimately refers to polygamous pack animals attempting to spread their DNA. Its value is limited when talking about humans, who tend to have more offspring through monogamous relationships. What are you alphas “first” for? The honor of having your kids slaughtered at a Planned Parenthood clinic?

    1. let them demand bullshit nobody can afford. would exacerbate the hilarious and growing problem of women getting too old to get married / have kids, then hamstering excuses that they wanted to be crazy cat ladies the entire time

    2. “The feminist response to the man-cave will be a demand for an equally expensive woman-cave”

      There already is one and it’s much more expensive. It’s called “the rest of the house”.

    3. In the ‘good old days’ it was determined by ‘Who wears the pants in the family?’
      Alpha – Man does.
      Beta – Woman does.
      “Under the slipper”

    4. Humans are pack mammals, like dogs and monkeys, with less hair an a greater ability to manufacture utensils, but much less different than most would like to believe.

    5. I think you may be a little confused regarding the alpha/beta thing. It’s just a mindset to be employed.not an actual biological function within this context.

      Essentially, don’t be a pus sy.

  27. He has his man cave while she has the woman palace, which by the way is every other part of the household where she controls everything.!

  28. I do have a man-cave, it’s my own home. I’ll be damned if anyone ever comes live with me and make me move my stuff to a single room. Man-caves are stupid because the entire house should be the man’s to begin with.

  29. Excellent article–even if the comment section is a somewhat embarrassing display of just how far modern men have fallen as expressed in the inability to distinguish between roles of “traditional masculinity” and modern pop-stereotypes.

    1. Not a case of how far men have fallen, but rather how far men have been beaten and pushed down by feminist society.

    2. Buddy, in the U.S. 70% of men aged 20-34 are not married. A quarter of Millennials will never marry, the highest rate in history. Most children are either born out of wedlock or raised by a single mother, or both. The modern world has no place for men anymore, so we go our own way.

      1. If so, I’m not sure why it was necessary to tell me about it. Nonetheless, I thank you for your time.

  30. “Women apparently are not such fragile snowflakes that they need their own room to express themselves”. Trigger warning please , I nearly spat my coffee out at that one. Apparently women can’t do anything without their own rooms from sewing rooms to women’s gyms to women’s centres and women’s hospitals it is hard to take two steps in the outside world without encountering a special women’s place. God forbid men should set up something in their own home with their own money. Next step taken by quite a few men these days is to simply live single. Just keep it up keep pushing.

  31. I am against the idea of man-caves as well. A friend of mine for a decade+ who I hadn’t talked to in awhile, a guy who was in the Marines and saw multiple deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan, asked me if I had a man cave of my own. I said yes. I do have a man cave. It’s called ‘my house.’ I love my family, but I mean, I bought the damned thing. If I want to put an Xbox in the living room, that’s where it’s going (I don’t have or want an Xbox, but you know what I mean). He had just bought a house, with his own money (technically it was the VA’s money, but he’s the one paying it back), and was trying to set up his own. He laughed about it, but I really think the idea bothered him.

    The fact that men allow themselves to be confined to one room — and often the WORST one, such as the garage or attic — in a home that they very likely bought is itself something of an indictment of men. Not necessarily against them personally, but against just how thorough and pervasive the brainwashing is. I understand the idea, that you can have THIS stuff as long as you stop complaining and leave me my space to do what I want in, it’s an utterly male idea of establishing boundaries, but as you can see by this article…nothing will ever be enough. There are now articles bemoaning that men have any spaces at all (often with the statement that ‘they have ALL the spaces’), or that men are even allowed to have their own thoughts (such as not conforming to the kind of relationships women want…see any article about tinder or the like).

    Men need to learn to shuck off the idea that wanting ANYTHING at all for yourself is selfish and oppressive and merely a mistake to be corrected. Women have no problems demanding things for themselves.

    1. We call them “VA Loans” but the VA does not loan money. They simply act guarantor of the loan.
      There’s nothing wrong with a “Man Cave.” This article is simple minded feminist BS.

      1. There is nothing wrong with having one’s own space. Arguably, it’s important for one’s health (mental at least, if not physical). But a ‘man cave’ is not just a representation of this concept — even this article mentions other concepts that are similar. This article is DEFINITELY simpleminded feminist propaganda, but it’s based on a genuine entrenched idea, which is that a ‘man cave’ is something that is fundamentally immature, and to be hidden away. And pop culture treats it this way at every turn — and as a result, so do most other people, including the ones who desire to have one. That’s why it is often relegated to a space nobody else WANTS.

        I could go on a psychological tangent that probably wouldn’t serve any purpose, but I mean, this is basically what my problem with it is. Not the space itself, but the idea that A) you only warrant one small space, and B) you should be ashamed of it.

    2. I think we all need to sit back and let these fine empowered women run society. Go make some pop corn and watch it all burn. Stop doing the dirty work, digging the drains, the brain surgery, flying all the aircraft etc, even the military, who wants to go and get killed for these bozos.

    3. I support my family, my husband doesn’t earn enough money to do so. So any home we have is paid for by me. This is 2017. Women are the breadwinners a lot more often than you would like to think. Who else is gonna get all those video games for the men, their mommies?

      1. I’m confused as to how this post is a reply to me. I did not weigh in on whether or not I thought women should be breadwinners. I don’t even really think I said anything about women period. But congratulations on being the breadwinner in your household (I will put aside what your immediate condescension suggests about your attitude and household). Do you have a ‘woman cave,’ in the house that you bought, that all of your specific interests and ‘fun’ items are confined to so as to not offend the delicate sensibilities of your husband’s friends? I hope not. You are obviously free to collaborate on where things go, but the final say should be yours, because you bought the place. Who does your husband hypothetically think he is to be acting like something you like is an embarrassment that needs to be hidden away, in a home that you bought?

  32. It’s very heartening to read the large amount of red pill knowledge in these comments. Keep rolling forward boys.

      1. I think we may be at a tipping point. Some mainstream sites are taking notice and starting to shame the whole movement. They are scared because they are losing the narrative as well as their power.

  33. STFU, Brandon McGinley, you cocksucking cunt.

    The whole house should be the man cave.

    You’re not masculine enough to tell other men how to live.

    Go enjoy yourself at a Code Pink rally or Gay Pride Parade.

  34. I agree. Man caves are pointless relics of the past. Stay single and live in your own place. Decorate it how you want. Do whatever you want. Say whatever you want without the controlling influence of a wife.

    Fuck traditionalism and traditionalists.

    1. I agree with most of what you say but the erosion of traditionalism by the feminists, SJW’s etc has caused the mess we are in.

      1. Going back to traditionalism isn’t the solution. It’s a bad deal for men because they’re expected to throw themselves on their sword for the women and children. Society needs to move forward to something that works better for everyone. But I’m single ’til death.

        1. I don’t think it’s possible to move forward to something else. Male and female biological imperitives are too different. We’ve evolved to make babies, look after them for several years and then move on to another mate. Tha’s the great tragedy.

          1. Traditionalism will never die. It’s still strong in many areas of the country. The divorce rates will drop and the marriage rates will rise again some day. The solution for men like me has always been bachelorhood. I knew when I was a kid I’d stay single for life. Married life just isn’t for me no matter what the cultural climate.

          2. “The divorce rates will drop and the marriage rates will rise again some day.” Only if there is a vast economic crisis or a third world war where women will need protecting.

          3. When the economy recovers for working and middle class Americans–and it will some day–marriage rates will go up. So many men have dropped out because they can’t afford a family. Time heals all.

          4. Speaking as a Brit, if the economy is good, a woman does not need to get married and is just after a bit of fun, until at least her biological clock starts screaming. She has money so she does not need a provider and is just after some fun.

  35. Go MGTOW and keep the whole house for yourself. MGTOW today, MGTOW tomorrow, MGTOW for life. Men, it’s time to walk away from the plantation.

  36. I actually agree….men should not have man caves…they should have their whole house to use as they see fit…MGTOW for life!!!

  37. Brandon McGinley, embrace your slavery alone peasant. The wise men will keep our man caves thank you (and laugh at you behind your back for being so vaginally-controlled).

    Want to listen to a monkey telling Brandon McGinley to get done in the ass?

  38. OP is a virgin faggot bc he has no idea that a man can’t stand not being alone doing his thing from time to time…

  39. Wait a minute. The man pays for the whole mortgage, pays for everything in the house, the wife and kids pretty much have complete and total access to everything, most of the time it’s the wife that decides on the use and function of most of the house and he can’t even have his own little room to himself? He should sacrifice everything, every modicum of his own desires and needs, to sublimate them for the good of the wife and kids?

    If a guy wants to completely abnegate the self for the core of the family, that’s his choice. But I think if a man wants to retain a little shred of his sanity, if he wants a man cave, that’s his right. If a guy can’t even spend a little bit of the money that he earns on himself while not neglecting the rest of the family duties, then why is the guy on this planet for? Just act as a beast of burden? A resource to be used, siphoned and sucked dry for the good of others?

    You know what, you do what’s good for you, and men will do what’s good for them.

    Personally I do think a Man Cave is wrong, but for the other reason — the house should belong as much to him as to the rest of his family, and if he should have a say in how the house is decorated, used and occupied. If he pays for it, he should have a say in it.

    1. I’m female, married and support our household. I pay the rent and all the bills because my husband doesn’t make enough to provide for himself or the family. You sound like you are stuck in an ancient time. Women today are providing more and more for families while the males are playing video games and whining.

      1. aha! Now we see your husband issues. Your husband is a loser who can’t support his own family, so he doesn’t deserve a man cave . Got it

  40. This article makes me feel quite badly. I could list the reasons but mostly I feel awfully for remaining single and depriving some woman of the opportunity to nag me out of having even one room where I could get some peace. And honestly I really do regret that as a consequence of my remaining single I’m depriving some woman out of the cash and prizes from a divorce that she feels that she so richly deserves.

    If the author’s intent is to make single men feel even better about their decision then he’s doing God’s work.

    In other news U.S. marriage rates are at their lowest point since record keeping began.

  41. In my household my wife has a “woman cave”.
    Yes, that is right, She gets one shitty room at the back of the house, and I get the entire rest of the house because I paid for it.

  42. Why dont you just go commit suicide and hope to land yourself in nice place in mangina heaven instead of apologizing for being male, with the hope that a nice woman would piss all over you. In case you havent noticed, marriage and American women are not worth crap anymore. My entire house is a man cave, and its all paid for and has a view on once side of the mountains and on the other its the sea. And its going to stay that way. You traditionalists have failed, go back to the 50’s where you came from, the progressives have already eaten your lunch.

  43. Well McGinley you go right back to the 50s and stay as a slave for women to use when and how they want. I won’t, thank you very much.
    If I pay for it, it’s my rules that applies, if she pays for it, it’s her rules that applies. Easy as that.

  44. To read the comments, one would think there are no emotionally functional adults anymore who can work together in the space they have.
    My husband does his hobbies in the main living area of our home, as do I mine. I’ve taught our children (2 & 4) not to mess with their Daddy’s things, but to watch and be allowed to participate when possible.
    We both clean up our hobbies when we are done for a period of time, so the children aren’t tempted too much, but the whole thing is based on everyone respecting each other’s interests.
    MGTOW and extreme feminism are both based on the sexes being unsatisfied with each other, when the root problem is that everyone is selfish, and no one wants to learn how to cooperate with each other.

        1. Because men don’t want to grow up/share and should not get married. They’re choosing this horrible thing for themselves. Just get a dog. Stop blaming women for your poor choices.

          1. They are choosing a horrible thing for the women who won’t get married because of this too. Perhaps that is why so many women are so aggressive about MGTOW.

    1. not exactly , the laws are biased , thanks to the feminists , fix that first, provide equality before the law , punish false accusers and provide innocent until proven guilty.

      1. Yes, the laws are very unfairly slanted toward women. In the meantime, we can certainly do our part to be examples of what the law should look like though.

    2. NOPE, you sound really nice, if thats an honest post and Im MGTOW. I would love that. But how long would it last? When you can easily boot me out from what i built with my sweat and blood, and then bring some looser to molest my kids with the state and police acting like your proxy, where is the assurance that you wont push that button with your girlfriends cheering you on? Men today would be dumb to fall for this. And the problem is not you, honey, its the government. and the Systems – ever hear feminist talk about “systems”? They are real, but she is deluded, they are there to make women “empowered”.

    3. Cooperating with a woman means doing whatever she says and doing it her way. MGTOW say screw that. Women are too stupid and boring to bother putting up with their crap, anyway.

      1. “Women are too stupid and boring to bother putting up with their crap, anyway.” And to think a woman allowed you to have life and you squeezed your way into the world via her body. And have an X chromosome as a souvenir. And mammary glands. Yep, you have ’em. Your mom must have really crushed you as a kid to be so angry with females.

        1. Why are you mocking men who don’t like women because their mothers were abusive? They have seen the worst women can be, does it not register that this is what makes them gun shy?

  45. traditionalists are not following traditionalism , they are feminists claiming to be traditionalists , traditionalists were governors of the house who took responsibility and power , now most traditionalists say “happy wife , happy life” ? wtf ?

  46. Here, Brandon attempts to fuse the two diametrically-opposed superpowers of sanctimonious nagging –SJWism and religious conservatism– into a single unholy abomination.

  47. And people are surprised why Islamic nuttiness is so attractive to so many men. If you emasculate all the men who don’t go barbarian, who is going to protect your sorry ass?

  48. Whiff. Men are different. They do need to preserve their identity through the use of space. If they decorations are not about elevated pursuits, that just means the particular man is not into elevated pursuits. The solution there is to promote elevated pursuits, not the elimination of man caves.

  49. Men have always had “Man Caves”, they are called garages. They went there to dream, to build, and to make. A few of the succeeded beyond their wildest dreams. You might have heard of a few of them. Amazon, Apple, Disney, Google, Harley Davidson, HP, Mattel, Microsoft, Dell and Nike to name a few. Long live the Man Cave.

    1. So what is exactly is being “created” in these man caves other than a beer belly? Men today are mostly spectators that can’t design themselves out of a paper bag.

  50. I almost don’t care enough to say what a load of bollocks this article is…whoops.

  51. Isn’t it great that masculinity is so offensive that ‘men’ like the auther have to keep apologizing for us? If current trends continue there will be a lot more caves as men are choosing to stay single. I feel so ashamed right now that I think I’ll sit down in the house that I built all by myself to my design and specification.

    1. If you’re not ready or willing to share your life with another person, don’t get married. It’s simple as that. No one forces anyone to get married. Many people are better off staying single and retaining absolute control of their surroundings. All these people whining about their wife/husband (but mostly wife), what did you think living with someone was going to be like? You used to live with your mom and dad — how fun was THAT? Why do you want to condemn yourselves to that life again and then just moan about how you hate it? Just get a dog.

  52. Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar. Given the tenor and tone of the article the author doesn’t have a man cave and doesn’t know anyone that does. How else to explain the complete lack of understanding of what happens in such spaces?

  53. This author uses a special flower-scented shampoo for his balls.

    Its because he’s considerate.

  54. This article is just comment-bait, a kind of trolling.

    You can see it in the following list of unsupported assertions which don’t merely lack plausibility, but are actively crafted to seek indignant retort:

    – “malignant trend”;
    – “juvenile, individualist masculinity”;
    – “undermines family life”;
    – “booze and sports represent a degradation not just of masculinity but of humanity”;
    – “What differentiates the man cave from these more traditional male
    spaces is that workshops and studies are designed to accommodate a
    particular, elevating interest”;
    – “With the man cave, however, the isolation from the family is the primary purpose of the space”;
    – “hide from family duties or to indulge selfish habits”;
    – “Women, apparently, are not such fragile snowflakes that they need their own
    room to express themselves”;
    – “man cave implies antagonism between the father’s masculine identity and his family identity and duties”;
    – “men, who are acutely tempted by the wider culture to a self-destructive individualism”;
    – “self-indulgent”
    – “corrosive masculinity that dissolves family solidarity”;

    Now, each of these merits a retort, of course. A few examples:

    Ex 1: “Women, apparently, are not such fragile snowflakes that they need their own
    room to express themselves.” No; some are fragile snowflakes, and others aren’t. But whether they are or they aren’t, in our culture they typically get every other room in the house with which to express their style, preferences, interests, or whatever.

    Ex 2: “…juvenile, individualist masculinity….” A man’s use of space for male-oriented use needn’t be individualist; it’s frequently the only or best space in which he may inculcate masculine values in the hearts of his sons.

    Ex. 3: “Malignant trend” Why not positive trend? To assert it’s a net-negative argues from facts not yet in evidence at that point in the article. And none of the howlers and unsupported assertions which follow ever bother providing a serious argument for it, either.

    And each of the others merits a retort.

    But why bother? The whole thing, again, is a massive trolling of the commentariat. And the usual rule is: Do Not Feed The Troll.

  55. This is typical of left-wing thought. Take a line of thought just one step and don’t pursue the thought any further. In this case, men are making “caves” and women aren’t, ergo men are doing something sexist.

    All these articles also assume that a house is “gender balanced” throughout, and that men are trying to “tip the scales” in their territorial favor to “re-establish dominance”. In reality, the home is never “balanced”. A house is always full of Things Women Like, never Things Men Like. Men are far less materialistic and far less concerned about the appearance of the abode than women are. And because we care about our wives and want them to be happy, and understand it means more to them, we don’t bother fighting it. (Pretty much the opposite of the sexist pigs we are always accused of being). But after a while a guy needs SOME part of the home that isn’t completely feminized or child oriented. Hence the man cave.

    And it has to be a separate room. Because the “communal areas” are really the “woman’s areas”. Put things the Way Men Like and you get drama because it is “messy” or “cluttered”. Garages no longer have tools handy and visible tucked away from sight lest the sight of a sawdust covered skillsaw traumatize a wayward guest? Even in the kitchen, when all the useful gadgets have to be buried in the backs of cabinets, is it any wonder they don’t get used when getting them and putting them back takes longer to do than what they are used for?

    Dining rooms with hutches full of china but never antique weaponry, dens with furniture you can’t use, it’s for “special occasions” but no workbentch allowed. Abstract (i.e. crap) art on the walls, but never “dogs playing poker”.

    The entirety of the house is for the woman. It’s not much to ask to have one spot for yourself.

    1. I don’t know what kind of soap opera the women in your live crawled out of but if they’re that unwilling to cooperate about decorating the house i really wonder how they managed to get a guy to marry them in the first place. To turn the “not all men” argument around not all women like China and dislike weaponry. I live in an old factory loft and have a cow skull as a lamp in my living room and am messy af…i build most of my furniture myself and have a full sized pool table in my living room. Does that mean i’m actually a man?

  56. Easy stuff to say. Ever been in an argument with a wife who in no way shape or form is going to give in? Ever been in a situation where you are giving all the time and not getting anything back? Ever try to concentrate on reading with the background tv showing some left wing show? When you do, you’ll find the mancave to be the place to go.

    1. Everyone needs that at some point, though. It’s not exclusive to males to feel put upon or worn out or distracted by their families etc. I think the point of the article was just that — we all need time and space but men in particular don’t need a special room to run to where they try to recapture their single life. I think it is more destructive to do that because you’re romanticizing and living in the past instead of dealing with the present. It’s easy to turn tail and run and hide away. Is that what a man cave is for?

  57. I could not agree more! The availability of a “man cave” is what doomed my last marriage. Seriously. It did. Having a retreat like that, with tv, video games, etc., did nothing but create a wedge between us. I’ve known many women who feel the same. But of course, there are many women who are just as disconnected with their spouse and are happy to ship their husbands off to the man cave so that they can drink margaritas with their girlfriends and complain about their husbands. Perhaps I’m just an idealist… I believe that getting married means that you spend time together, you have shared interests, you don’t have separate rooms to watch tv in.

  58. Even as a man myself I have a pet peeve for man caves. I have heard the excuse that a man needs a place to get away but it tempts me to ask the question, don’t women need that too? I have been a dad for only 6 months now but I feel like the idea of a man cave is just a mans way of telling his wife, honey I don’t want to deal with the kids and household chores now so can you do it and cook me dinner.

    Since my wife and I are living with my dad we don’t have an extra room in the house to spare but if we did I definitely would not make a man cave. I would either make a play room for the kids or since my wife and I are both artists I would turn that room into a combination office/art studio for my wife and I to use.

    These days I’m seeing a disturbing increase in the number of people (mostly men) developing a fear of in person interaction with other people. I feel like the idea of a man cave only makes this problem worse.

    Then again I’m saying this from the point of view of a stay at home dad, so maybe I’m not seeing things the same way as an “average man”.

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