Recently, former child star-turned-hot-mess Lindsay Lohan tweeted her support for President Trump. “THIS IS our President. Stop #bullying him & start trusting him,” she wrote. (Lohan seems to have memory-holed the inappropriate remarks Trump made about her back in 2004 on the Howard Stern show). Earlier, she had tweeted out her enthusiasm for newly-appointed U.S. Supreme Court Justice Neil Gorsuch, noting that he “votes with Clarence Thomas 100% of the time.”
Is Lohan angling to become that rare unicorn, a Republican celebrity?
Probably not. For those of you who haven’t been following Lohan since her very public downward spiral in her twenties, she has made several attempts to reinvent herself after her acting career stalled. Last year, Vanity Fair asked if she was on the cusp of yet another comeback, while expressing skepticism about the possibility of a full-scale Lohan reinvention.
Lohan is now flirting with several different identities. On her Twitter bio she now describes herself as an “Activist. Actress. Artist.” Now, she wants to enter the already-saturated world of celebrity lifestyle gurus—for people who are willing to pay, that is. Lohan recently unveiled a subscription-only “lifestyle site” that for the low cost of only $2.99 per month promises to deliver “personal diaries, video updates, exclusive personal photos, fashion and beauty tutorials, shopping guides, behind the scenes content, my favorite products and much more.”
On the surface the project is laughable. Lohan’s personal troubles are legendary. Although she’s only thirty-one years old, she’s already had multiple rehab stays, posed for at least six mug shots after being arrested, drawn the ire of a film producer for her unprofessional set behavior (and made herself nearly unemployable as a result) and spent several weeks in jail. At one point she had to wear an ankle bracelet with an alcohol monitoring device.
What special lifestyle tips might such experiences encourage, besides how to hire a good criminal defense attorney or survive multiple stints in rehab? It’s like asking the four-times-divorced Liza Minnelli for marriage advice. Even the most successful celebrity lifestyle gurus (Gwyneth Paltrow, Jessica Alba, Reese Witherspoon) and their eager if less accomplished mimics (Blake Lively) frequently run afoul of common sense when attempting to dole out health and happiness advice (we’re looking at you and your “wearable healing stickers,” Gwyneth Paltrow).
A Lohan lifestyle site actually could make a contribution at some point, perhaps in five or ten years, after Lohan has gained in maturity and had time (and therapy) to reflect on the train wreck that was her twenties. Done well, such reflection might succeed in steering other troubled souls away from the destructive path she took. Teens and tweens curious about the supposed glamour of celebrity could learn about the dark side of fame from someone other than their parents.
Let’s remember that some of the best drug counselors are the ones who fought, and won, their own battle over substance abuse. Lohan could bring a similar sensibility to her site.
But that healthy approach to a career as a lifestyle guru would require time, healing and maturity (and a heaping dose of something that the current crop of celebrity lifestyle sites sorely lack—humility). For now, the last thing Lohan needs is more superficial attention from fans who may not have her best interests at heart. If any star could benefit from an extended private break, it’s Lohan. Instead of posting incendiary tweets defending Donald Trump or proffering dodgy lifestyle advice, here’s some things Lohan should do: Get off Twitter. Shun Instagram. Shutter the attempt at a personal lifestyle brand. Use whatever time and money you have to figure out how to be a normal person in the world.