The Challenges of Dating While Conservative

In 2017, dating can feel like navigating a wasteland, especially for the conservative. Single conservatives are often asked, “Would you be willing to date a liberal?” For most of the conservatives I know, that’s a difficult question. It’s certainly easier to be with someone whose values align with our own, but we would be open to meeting someone and seeing what happens. The problem, in my experience? Liberals aren’t as open-minded. Cross-political dating usually ends quickly, with the liberal party deciding that he or she simply can’t be around someone who doesn’t share the “approved” perspective. This happened recently to two of my friends in our over-politicized society.

Take my friend Courtenay, for example. Living in Los Angeles, Courtenay didn’t assume anything about the political leanings of her blind date; she was simply open to meeting a new guy and seeing what happened over dinner. What happened was he started talking politics and mentioned how difficult it made his job as a playwright. “At some point in the conversation he started to complain how tough it is to be a playwright because the hateful people who believe in guns hate him and are so mean,” Courtenay told me.

Suggesting he have an open mind wasn’t helpful. “I asked him ‘do you really think they hate you? Or perhaps they just have a difference of opinion.’” He continued to spew hate against the people he said were hateful to him, and then wanted to get even more political by talking about President Trump. “I said ‘regardless of whether you agree/disagree or how you feel about the president, he is still the president of the United States and I don’t think it’s productive to react with hate or vitriol. I personally enjoy hearing others’ opinions and learning their perspectives and what makes them tick.’”

Courtenay tried to move the conversation away from politics, but he took her willingness to listen to other opinions as proof positive she was a Trump supporter and would have nothing more to do with her. “He said ‘I’m so appalled, I can’t even look at you! You must leave now! Go get out of here!’” You read that correctly—he literally asked her to leave because he couldn’t be with a person who suggested he should be open to other points of view. So, Courtenay left the restaurant, knowing that the tolerance brigade had struck again. When she tried to speak with the person who had set them up, she was sent to voicemail and never heard back. That’s what you get for straying from the approved (i.e. liberal) opinions in a city like L.A.

It’s not just men treating women this way. Liberal women are just as guilty, as my friend Josh found out. After only a few dates, the woman he was seeing mentioned that she voted for Hillary Clinton. Josh . . . didn’t. She responded by calling him “a racist, sexist homophobe and kicking me out,” he said. Of course, she called Trump these things as well. She “started calling Trump all the names and then it turned to her not believing I voted for him. Constant interrupting me and talking over me,” he said. She didn’t care about the things they had in common that had sparked their mutual interest in each other in the first place. “Liberals are liberals first. Always. If you’re a Christian but a liberal, your liberal views trump your Christian views.” After Josh left, his date continued to text him telling him why he was wrong, as though constant haranguing is the way to win (in relationships or in politics).

Perhaps this is the new reality for conservatives given how much of our culture has been politicized since the recent election. “Dating as a conservative is pretty much akin to doing anything else in life as a conservative,” Josh said, “where the other party has the ability to discriminate against you without consequence.”

But that’s too bad. All might be fair in love and war, but too much political warfare ruins dating. Liberals on the dating scene would do well to set politics aside (at least for a few dates) and give their more conservative peers a chance. They might be surprised by what they find.



107 responses to “The Challenges of Dating While Conservative

  1. It is true that liberals will shun you. I’ve had it happen to me, though not in a dating context. I had a friend who was not political at all. But he married a very liberal woman. One day a political topic came up. Her position had a stupid fundamental premise. I questioned that premise using simple logic and facts without stating my own views. She forced this guy to break off his ties with me. Seriously! There have been other instances as well. Even expressing doubt about the tenets of liberalism impels liberals to think you are the enemy.

    1. To them, you are the enemy. Their world view is built on lies and nonsense, to entertain any non liberal thoughts puts their carefully constructed fantasy at risk. It took me many years to finally come to grips with the Lefts insanity. Now, I have nothing to do with them, even if they’re family.

      Liberals are liberals, first. Always.

      1. ..and then you learned, as did I, that there is nothing more despised than an apostate. In 2008, a person who’d I known for 30 years and who’d attended my wedding (as I had attended his) basically told me I was a horrible worthless evil bigot for not supporting Obama. My wife’s friends of 35 years have gone full pussy-hat retard…so we got a new set of friends.

      2. If you dissent from the true faith (and make no mistake, it is a faith), you’re a heretic. And you know what happens to heretics.

  2. It is very tiring to always have to be the one to step through the verbal minefields. I have many friends who range from liberal to very liberal, and whose company I generally enjoy, but I have to be carefully noncommittal about all sorts of topics lest they scream at me and terminate our friendship; none of them feel they have to be tolerant of anything that isn’t on their end of the political spectrum.

    1. Every group I belong to has become a political minefield, including those that have no political purpose whatsoever. Libs make pronouncements that they expect to go unchallenged because they think everyone must agree with them since they follow the One True Faith. When you disagree politely these days, they get incensed, which has never been the case before. An aunt by marriage, one of the sweetest, nicest people you could meet, posted on FB an article entitled “7 Things I Know I Hate About You If You’re Voting for Trump”. People on the left have become unhinged.

      1. In fact i went through exactly the same thing – but exactly – during th4e Bush years. So yes it was the case before.

      2. I’m going to suggest that this is happening because the culture is at a turning point, possibly not in their favor, and they sense this. I know optimism on our side of the divide is difficult, but aside from Hollywood, the schools, and the filibuster, what do they have left? OK, the churches.

      3. I think this is only now coming to a head, because Trump represents the first genuine push-back against liberalism since the cultural revolution started in earnest 50 years ago.

  3. It helps to keep in mind that Marxists have rebranded themselves as liberals here in America (destroying the language and culture is natural to them), but they’re ideology is the same as the one that drove Stalin, Mao, Pol Pot, and (yes, I’m going there) Hitler. They’re commie pinkos whose political leanings were the direct cause of the murder of 100 million+ in the 20th Century.

    Never trust them. They’re treacherous.

    1. Well, Hitler wasn’t a Marxist. But he was definitely on the Left–it wasn’t exactly the National Capitalist German Workers Party, after all!

  4. Don’t date a Leftist, they believe in nothing but evil. Child murder, feminism, anti-Western bigotry, anti-Free speech, violent thugs. It’s a death cult of misery and wrong and you’ll only get dragged down by them.

    And don’t do “casual” dating or “dating” around. If you go out dating, you should be searching for a husband or wife. That is the purpose of dating:to find a permanent mate.

    Not to “play the field.” Not to “shop around.” Not to “find yourself.” To find a spouse.

      1. lmao. I’m sorry your evil religion is worthless, little moloch-worshiper.

        Sorry not sorry.


  5. Why would you want to date these people anyway. l say they did the authors friends a favor. What a bunch of myopic, close-minded bigots. Good riddance.

  6. Reading historical accounts of civil wars it often amazed me how savage and brutal they were. How could seemingly intelligent people so viciously turn against their former neighbors, I would ask myself. Now I know. Should that happen here, I’m pretty sure I wouldn’t be bothered one bit if liberals were rounded up and trucked away never to be seen again.

  7. Stop calling them ‘liberals’, they aren’t. Leftists, yes, but they implicitly embrace totalitarian political ethics.

    “That which is allowed is compulsory.”

    1. That’s right. “Leftists” more correctly ties them to the tyrannical histories and tendencies of their world view, which puts them more properly inimical to authentic liberalism, meaning classical liberalism. Liberalism and leftism are antoynmic.

      1. Not really. They both have their roots in the Humanism of the Enlightenment, and as such, they’re cut from the same cloth. They both have inordinately high views of human nature, and accordingly both of them foolishly value above all else, the nonsense humanistic ideals of liberty and equality (in different degrees) over the primary necessity of any society, order.

    2. Start calling them what they really are, democrats. If they were actually just liberal they wouldn’t buy into all the crap the democrats have been peddling.

  8. Continuing to text after you boot him out makes you a bunny boiler, sorry. I don’t care if you voted for Clinton or Trump or for Bill the Cat – you’ve made your point, find some other victim.

  9. The purpose of dating is to find common ground, and, at this point in time, many liberals are convinced that conservatives (Trump voters or not) have secretly pledged allegiance to Adolph Hitler. They think they’re “tolerant,” ’cause they support illegal aliens and poor oppressed Muslims, but they are, in reality, closed-minded bigots who would have no problem betraying ANYONE to the Stazi for “re-education.”

    If you are already in a “house divided,” it’s one thing, as your partner will probably at least listen to your arguments without believing that you are David Duke without the hood. However, there’s no point in buying into a problem – you are better off knowing early on if your politics are a “deal breaker,” so as not to waste your time.

    As an aside, before this election, we used to suggest to my wife’s divorced, miserable liberal friends that they consider dating men who are politically conservative, since they are likely to have “real” jobs, a work ethic and, well, tend to be…polite. We know now that this is no longer even a remote possibility, since they have told us in relatively plain terms that WE and people like us are just disgusting….and they’ve only known us for 30 years.

    1. I had one of my closest personal friends do this to me after the election. Threatened not to continue our friendship of decades if I voted Trump. She demanded to know. I told her that I would not answer (I voted libertarian) and I mentioned regardless of who I voted for, I was uncomfortable with this situation. If I voted Hillary you will continue as my friend, but I now know you would have discarded or long deep friendship had I voted Trump. If I voted Trump our friendship would be over because of her intolerance. Lose, lose as far as I could see the situation.

    2. “. . . at this point in time, many liberals are convinced that conservatives (Trump voters or not) have secretly pledged allegiance to Adolph Hitler.”
      Very true.

  10. My BIL dumped the woman he had been dating for nine months because she voted for Trump. He said he just can’t be with someone “who thinks like that” even though they got along fine up until then. He is a NY lib and my in-laws there are all fanatical anti-conservatives so I’m sure he got a lot of support from them for his decision.

    1. Somebody needs to remind your BIL that the alternative to Trump was a money grubbing, America-betraying, evidence-destroying, power luster.

      But then, he’s probably just another “progressive” Koolaid drinker who’s incapable of seeing the evil his side swims in. (I’m reminded of the fish who says, “”What’s water?”)

  11. 90% of the women I’ve dated for any amount of time thought of themselves as Liberal, though when backed into a discussion corner, to a one they admitted most of their “deeply held” views weren’t logical. They just wanted to FEEL like they were good people. (Can’t we all just get along?!) If the Right had any sense (I know), it would work on a program to co-opt the Left’s ability to manipulate emotion for political gain.

  12. It’s a war, and “conservatives” still don’t get it. The Left wants you dead, just like they can’t stop talking that they want Trump dead.

    1. Oh I think they get it. Many people feel the left means them harm, be it socially, financially or physically. Some people voted for Trump for this very reason. Many articles were written about Christians who felt under attack by Democrats and saw Trump as someone who would protect them. They get it.

    1. If we Republicans can keep our House and Senate majorities, I expect this will begin to reverse in a few years.

  13. It was always thus.
    Just think of the scene from Invasion of the Body Snatchers when Donald Sutherland discovers someone is not of the body.

  14. I’ve never been around “true politicos”. Politics was often a side show and never ruined a relationship. Still, you can’t date someone with different political and religious views. Just doesn’t work. And don’t be afraid to ask since it is a screening tool. You might not want to ask in casual conversation with strangers, but dating is serious. It’s okay to ask about politics to ensure compatibility.

    1. Dating someone of a different religion isn’t necessarily a problem when you share the same values and culture. But for many liberals – Christian and Jew alike – Liberalism IS their religion, and “a woman’s right to choose” trumps everything, including the fact that it is antithetical to Jewish law and the Catholic church.

      1. You’re already discounting religion based on politics. A conservative Christian is likely to be conservative in politics. So politics and religion are closely aligned and can’t be separated.

  15. It’s like living in the defunct Soviet Union. Visiting my wife’s brother & his bride, big Democrats, we kept quiet about my wife’s enthusiastic Trump support. We met their next door neighbors again who were at the wedding last year and after her brother & wife retired early, they confessed to us that they were, you guessed it, Trump aficionados. I didn’t mention that their next door neighbors posted on FB that Trump voters were morons. Thankfully my wife is not on FB.

    1. Early Soviet Union, before everyone, including SJW got hit so hard they all shut up and just tried to live another day.

  16. I was married for 25 years, and after being divorced a couple years started dating. The liberal women were the worst. Hateful, spiteful, angry, and nasty and utterly judgmental–across the board. If you had ANY difference of opinion on a political topic, they tore your head off. I finally checked profiles more carefully and thereafter refused–regardless of how they looked–to even try to date one. It wasn’t worth the time. Eventually I found the perfect woman and life is great. And guess what? She is a conservative.

      1. I cannot tell how many times I have personally verified your post. Dozens of strident feminists, don’t even offer to pay half. Shows I deeply they are committed to equality. Equality when it benefits them, the rest not so much.

  17. “It’s not just men treating women this way.”

    Hogwash, it is *mainly* women treating men that way.

  18. Preemptive: In profiles, just state who and what you are and you beliefs. Saves time, money and aggravation.

  19. Even when I was really young, I would find out if the guy was a Democrat before I’d accept a date. If he was, no date. And this was way before the Democrat party became so insane.

  20. Thats the way the angry libs were at County of Sonoma, total intolerance except for their lazy friends.

  21. Unapologetic Alt-Right men can easily get liberal girls, due to the men’s high testosterone. Plus, liberal girls are sleazy.

  22. Maybe this is a good thing. If liberals only date liberal, they will devolve into a parallel culture working jobs in retail, coffee shops, abortion clinics, organic grocery stores, and recycling plants. Meanwhile, conservatives will marry each other to go on to work real jobs making real money to live in real homes in the suburbs to have three kids and repopulate the USA.

    And, really, don’t you think reasonable people, even liberals, are repulsed by this political bigotry?

  23. This did not just start. As a male living in CA, I have been through this many times. Sometimes the women agreed to date even though I was not a liberal. On the dates, like clockwork, they would scrutinize you and belittle your beliefs. This would go on even with stating I didn’t want to talk politics, and when they did anyway I never responded or took part in a political conversation, and repeatedly tried to change the subject. One gal who didn’t have a “criteria” against dating conservatives after a couple of date let loose with “I hate conservatives” not referring to me. I said to her, “you don’t actually hate them, you strongly disagree with them, hate is an ugly thing”. Expecting her to pick up my hint that someone so full of hate is not an appealing candidate for continuing dating much less marrying. But no, hint not received, she emphatically stated even more strongly that she did “hate conservatives”. I guess being in CA with all the other liberals who do not find hating others to be a problem at all, she could not even see why this reflected so poorly on her as a person, and especially one a date with someone. So that was pretty much the end of that. Who wants to be with someone whose heart is filled with hate, raw unadulterated hate. Would you want to date someone like that? I did not.

    1. “As a male living in CA…”? Then I take it you’re not human. Maybe you’re a dog, I’ve heard it said that on the Internet no one knows you’re a dog. Are you a dog? A man would have written “As a man living in CA”. I notice you don’t have the same problem with “women” and “gal”.

      Substituting “male” for ‘man’ is a feminist verbal tic. It’s their tell.

  24. “Liberals are liberals first. Always. If you’re a Christian but a liberal, your liberal views trump your Christian views.” This is true because liberalism (Leftism) is antithetical to the Christian worldview at the most basic levels. If you are a serious biblical Christian, you are going to be at odds with a liberal, including liberal Christians. That’s just the way it is.

    1. Well, sometimes they are just refusing to think through the logical implications of their conflicting positions. My mother is a case in point–firmly anti-abortion, anti-gay-everything, but consistently votes Democrat, more for their stated support for schools and libraries than for any other reason. But as a result, on every issue I’m aware of besides abortion and gay stuff, she goes along with the party line by default, and cannot be reasoned with. She has even suppressed her memory of voting for Reagan in 1980, and probably in 1988!

      Emotion, not reason.

      My parents don’t talk much about politics. And seeing that, if I were single again, I would refuse to date a leftist. I’d hate to be unable to discuss politics, considering how important and interesting it is!

  25. dating is like playing pong ….your ball bounces off a brick, returns to the backstop, lunges forward to bounce off another brick, flings backward bouncing off one sidewall then the other, returns to the paddle, lunges forward to bounce off another brick……….i guess all in all we’re just another brick in the wall

  26. It is a good thing to find out whether a person is liberal or not on the first date. Since liberals are either ignorant, deluded, or evil, it is best to find out now than to wait and end up developing a relationship with an idiot.

    1. .
      “liberal are either ignorant, deluded, or evil”
      No they aren’t, liberals are ignorant, deluded and evil. All three at once + other problems too long to list. One must add, however, insane.

      1. Actually, both sides can be all three at any given time.

        As a Republican, I wage my war more against the liberal media than against individuals.

        Most individuals, I think, blindly follow and parrot their idealized leaders, who often say things only to appease their followers. A mad circle.

        Most if not all of us also tend to become deeply steeped in the need to be “right” out of the fear of being wrong about our views. This need, instead of allowing us to hear and reflect on a reasoned, non-insulting opposing view, too often makes us dig our heels in.

        This applies to members of both parties.

  27. It a good thing to find out whether a person is too intolerant and too immature to engage in a meaningful long-term relationship.

    1. Well, I will say this:

      Not open-minded = mostly liberals
      Liberals = Democrats
      Democrats = this:

      “Republicans don’t have near as big a woman problem as Democrats have a man problem.” -Wall Street Journal

      And this:

      “The whole Democratic Party is now a smoking pile of rubble: In state government things are worse, if anything. The GOP now controls historical record number of governors’ mansions, including a majority of New England governorships. Tuesday’s election swapped around a few state legislative houses but left Democrats controlling a distinct minority. The same story applies further down ballot, where most elected attorneys general, insurance commissioners, secretaries of state, and so forth are Republicans.”

  28. But I thought diversity is a strength.

    The very concept is a lie. Diversity is neither a strength nor a weakness. It’s just diversity.

    If you really believe diversity is a strength go marry someone with whom you have nothing in common. Let us know how it goes.

    1. After being well marinated in diversity for years; I now limit my diversity to cuisine for dinner.

  29. I think there are singles groups called something along the line of Republican Singles and others called Democrat Singles. If so, looking for a date mate at your respective group can obviate a lot of pain.

  30. If I had a blind date with someone I didn’t know was a flaming leftie, I would try to be polite, bring the date to an agreeable ending, and never see that person again.

    If she insisted on screaming at me, talking over me, and generally disrespecting me, I would get up, walk out, and leave her with the check.

  31. This sort of thing is the logical outcome of the Left’s incessant propagandizing among themselves about conservatives. Both sides have echo chambers, but the Left’s has gotten quite large in the last 8 years. There are millions of “liberals” that literally believe conservatives are terrible, selfish, horrible people whose views are driven by evil intent.

    The easiest way to put it is that millions on the Left have a cartoon view of conservativism.

    My wife recently outed me as a conservative to two of her friends. One of them asked in all earnestness if I was really conservative. My wife said what do you mean? She said, well, like, he thinks women should be allowed to work, right? These are educated people. Husband has a PhD.

      1. Oh, I suspect “wife’s friend” was hoping to find wife’s secret for having a husband ok with wife staying home while he slaved at work among sometimes back-biting strangers.

      1. Plenty of people have had contact with communists over the decades. They all ended up murdered and put in mass graves.

  32. Fun read and sooo true. Here in Pelosi Land, Marvelous Marin home of the 1%: no industry, no development, now 80% of the land in public or private trust of some kind & HUD noted for lacking diversity. This IS where the Best Liberals live. The Match dot Com postings specify up front: NO Republicans-! Also for any of these gals to date you — also specified income of over $110,000 is required. Interesting world view here. Great weather.

    1. Nancy Pelosi is an immigrant to California. I say send her back to Maryland where she came from.

  33. Yup. Almost all of the people who would rule out dating someone because of their politics are Democrats, and most of them are women. But they are doing those guys a favor. Such women are in a state of constant outrage, and the poor guy who quietly suggests changing the subject is lighting a match to gasoline.

  34. I am a reformed liberal, now conservative for the rest of my life. Back when I was a liberal I dated a man who I considered to be an ultra extreme, far right neo-con. We had plenty of political arguments on our dates. But it was stimulating and helped us to get to know one another. Over time a funny thing happened; I could see that he made good sense. I could see how liberalism demonized the right and left out a whole bunch of stuff I should have known about. I did some digging on my own and discovered that the conservative side tended to be reason based, while the liberal side tended to be rooted in emotions. But emotions can’t run the world. Only reason can.
    These days liberals are having so many meltdowns and the poor snowflakes need trigger warnings and safe spaces. Good grief. I’m so glad I’m no longer a liberal.
    I feel ‘awake’ now after all my dates with this wonderful neo-con. Naturally I married the guy.

    1. I look forward to seeing your bio book, Swept Away by the Right, in all the bookstores. It’ll be a bigger bestseller than 50 Shades.

    2. You took one red pill. Now that you’ve got one foot down the rabbit hole, take the rest! 😉

  35. Politics these days are so divisive, so I understand what you must be going through! I would recommend to go easy, since people who don’t like Trump tend to have very strong feelings against him and their emotions get in the way of dealing with actual facts. If you are the type of person who has read a lot about globalism and know much about the destructive course western nations are on, your arguments will be good, and you’ll probably plant a lot of seeds without realizing it. If he really cares about you, then you will be the best sales rep for the conservative view that he could have.
    I get frustrated with other people I know who actually hate Trump, but I have good arguments to counter their nonsense and I am patient. One day they’ll have no choice but to see what you and I already see. Reality never sleeps.
    Good luck!

      1. Better than Killery, who kills/killed Libyan, Iraqi, Syrian, Palestinian, Serbian and Russian children.

  36. Cole Santos: I posted my reply to you from my husband’s computer, so it shows up as Petrows, just so you know.

  37. ” Liberals on the dating scene would do well to set politics aside” – Not possible.

    Politics is their Religion now. If you don’t accept the dogma – indeed, if you are not an absolute zealot in promoting it, then you are a heretic and must be destroyed.

    1. You are a hateful bigot who mindlessly hates and blames whites and western civilization for all problems you encounter. You try to normalize scapegoating. You fail at life.

  38. This is why in dating, I’m done being honest…too many liberal women out there, so now, until I meet that Trump gal, I refuse to sit home alone so I LIE to these nutters and after a awhile, just do the break up text. These liberal women have brought it on themselves by making a first date all about politics.

  39. You snowflakes are pathetic. No one wants to date a racist. Deal with it. FYI, racism, misogyny and homophobia are not ‘a difference of opinion’. Stop normalizing evil.

  40. HAHAHAHAHAHA–Right wingers whining because everybody hates them and they can’t get laid–I LOVE IT

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