Meet the Creepy American Boy Dolls that Will Haunt Your Dreams

For years, toy manufacturers have been playing catch up when it comes to political correctness: companies have scrambled to create Barbies who emphasize STEM subjects, dolls that represent every possible iteration of multiculturalism, and many other questionable toys, hoping to soothe the anger of Social Justice Warriors. Most recently, many companies have tried to get consumers to embrace the elusive “gender-neutral toy.”

But a new Kickstarter-funded company, Boy Story, hopes to take a slightly different approach with the introduction of dolls . . . for boys. Behold, Billy and Mason:

dolls_seated_small

Positioning themselves as the boyish alternative to the American Girl juggernaut, these boy toys are “properly proportioned, high-end dolls that each have a corresponding book about overcoming some kind of adversity.”

Because nothing says, “Fun play time!” like a story about overcoming adversity!

Of course, Mason and Billy also check the appropriate multicultural boxes required of PC toys: “According to a report from Circa, Mason is “caucasian/Hispanic” while Billy is black.” (White and Asian boys, evidently, don’t get a doll because they can play with their privilege, at least until the company releases “Aspen,” a “blond haired blue eyed white boy,” and “Kenji,” a Japanese boy.).

Enthusiasts of PC toys are praising the venture as groundbreaking . . . for feminism, if not for boys. Slate’s writer imagines how awesome it will be when kids figure out that they can dress their Boy Story dolls in their sister’s American Girl doll clothes—oh yes, and make them have sex with each other:

“Mason and Billy seem to provide a world of opportunities that most little boys have missed out on: having doll slumber parties; punishing dolls for running away (getting lost) by locking them in the closet for days; making Mason and Billy have sex with each other like we all (?) did with our Barbies in their Barbie Dreamhouse hot tub. . . Billy can gallivant about his bayou in Samantha’s pink party dress. Feminism has won!

Feminism might have won, but a world where boys can play with traditional toys without being scolded by PC warriors has lost.

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  • DrTorch

    Wasted 45 seconds of my time with this.

  • Just_a_Cineast

    Show me on the doll where the Social Justice Warrior touched you….

  • Mainlander

    Boys don’t like dolls. It’s biology.

  • Michael Gebert

    Years ago Pleasant Co. (creators of American Girl) was exploring a line of toys for boys. They understood that boys were not looking for male equivalents of the girl dolls and instead had come with up a line of basically gear and tools related to adventure pursuits– so it was like miniaturized but functional (if you were 18″ tall) mountaineering gear, that kind of thing. It never got out of test marketing, I think, but at least they were thinking about what could work for boys, not just making an exact duplicate of the American Girl line– like these guys.