Thu. October 24
We Are Raising a Generation of Wimps
Last weekend I was on a soft foam playground with my little girl, and I reflected on how different things were when I was a kid, shortly after dinosaurs roamed the earth. Playgrounds then were asphalt-covered, jagged-edged death traps for kids, but we didn’t know any differently and our parents weren’t freaked out about it. I vividly remember once hanging upside down from monkey bars and dropping onto concrete directly on my head (now that I think about it, that hit probably explains quite a bit about me). It’s a wonder that my generation survived childhood. What concerns me today is that my daughter’s generation will grow up so coddled that it won’t survive adulthood.
One New Hampshire elementary school has banned the game of tag during recess, because the contact is potentially harmful. “We want them running, we want them jumping and releasing the energy, but just in a safe way,” said principal Patricia Beaulieu. “They’re allowed to play soccer… basketball, there’s jump ropes, there’s different balls they can play with, different foursquare games out there.”
A middle school in Port Washington, New York recently banned footballs, soccer balls, baseballs and lacrosse balls on its playgrounds, because those “hard” balls are potentially injurious. Seriously? Theoretically, anything – or nothing – can be potentially injurious. A kid could break a wrist just by falling awkwardly. I support the idea of switching out dangerous playground asphalt for a bouncy, foamy substitute; but are we really helping our children by restricting their sporting activity to the bland safety of pitching Nerf balls underhanded?
In that same paranoid vein, the Postal Service announced it was scrapping a line of stamps depicting children in various forms of play such as skipping rope, walking and jogging, dribbling a basketball, etc. The reason? It received “concerns” from the President’s Council on Fitness, Sports & Nutrition over apparently “unsafe” acts shown on three of the stamps: a cannonball dive into a pool, skateboarding without kneepads, and a headstand without a helmet (somehow they overlooked the horrifying images of a batter without a helmet, a girl teetering one-legged on a slippery rock, and a soccer player without kneepads). Apparently the Council feared the stamps would inspire kids to perform potentially dangerous acts – as if youngsters these days even know what a stamp is.
And then there are the senseless extremes of politically correct, anti-gun hysteria, in which schoolchildren all over the country are being suspended, labeled a “terrorist threat,” and even required to undergo psychiatric evaluation – not for bringing weapons to school, but for even pretending to play with guns or gesturing like a gun with index finger and thumb. One seven-year-old was suspended because he accidentally shaped a breakfast pastry to resemble a gun, according to his teacher, who was literally reduced to tears by the trauma.
We now aggressively confront bullying, which is a positive thing – except that children who physically defend themselves from bullies are being punished as well, as if self-defense is equally reprehensible. Sometimes in the real world, the only thing bullies understand is a dose of their own medicine, and our children need to be ready for this reality and to grasp the moral distinction.
“It’s really about [children] being healthy and their well-being,” said the New Hampshire elementary school principal Beaulieu. I think not. I believe that all this is about lawsuit avoidance and an intentional effort to mold American children into risk-averse, compliant, helpless pacifists that can be easily controlled by the state. Whatever the reason, we are creating a generation of wimps.
By contrast, let’s examine childrearing in history’s most aggressive warrior culture, ancient Sparta. If a Spartan baby didn’t start out life fit enough, it was abandoned to die. Soldiers took boys from their mothers at age 7 and housed them in a dormitory to begin their training as a ruthless killing force. They endured harsh physical discipline, and learned to endure pain and survive deprivation. Sparta needed strong mothers to produce strong warriors, so girls too were removed from the home at 7 and trained in wrestling, gymnastics, fighting, and endurance.
Not a parenting strategy I recommend. But in our overprotective zeal to create ultra-safe environments and to brainwash the bold, competitive, independent American spirit out of impressionable young generations, we are creating citizens who will be unable to handle adversity or defend themselves on a personal or national level. Sure, there is some relief in knowing that my children will grow up on playgrounds that aren’t simply concussions waiting to happen; but I want them mentally and physically prepared for life’s inevitable scrapes and bruises, and fearless enough to take down bullies without Daddy’s help.





I agree that lawsuits are partly to blame, but I would put the major blame on media. There was a survey a while back which showed that people tended to believe that they were 10 times more likely to be victims of crime than they actually were. Media in general and television in particular tends to greatly magnify events to make them look far more local than they are. When a school is hit and dozens of kids are killed, people feel their children will be next. The fact of the matter is, unless your child goes to school in a inner city gang area, your child being killed while in school or going to it is a million to one shot.
Add to that the change from news to info-tainment horror stories to create ratings and you have a society which is ruled by fear, thanks to profiteering media moguls and corrupt politicians.
I have some agreement, but let’s go back over the other side of this. Children actually did get hurt, sometimes permanently. The fact that they didn’t 99% of the time is not really the number we are looking at, when dangerous actions are repeated. A coworker once complained to one of the older psychiatrists about bicycle helmets being required. “We never wore helmets! But we didn’t get these supposedly terrible injuries!” He nodded sadly. “Yes, the children who got injured were sent away to special schools. And you never saw them again.” The moment he said that, a boy from my old neighborhood sprang to mind. We did see him again, months later. Never the same kid again.
My boys roughhoused, all five of them. We let them do things they probably shouldn’t, for the reasons you outline above: life is risky; danger must be managed, not avoided; the real risks of life lie elsewhere. But be not too quick to dismiss safety measures just because they weren’t around in your childhood. We’ve learned some things, especially about concussions, that it might have been better to know then.
Unfortunately, this seems a path of no return.
My children’s school has done the same awful things to recess for the sake of safety. The children are not allowed to play tag because, you know, people may push too hard. The children in the younger grades are not even allowed balls to play with. It saddens me.
I think some of this comes from a lazy attitude to teach the children the right way to do these things.
I say that because the school has “banned” other things that cause them problems. For example, my daughter was running for class office, so we made stickers for her campaign out of packing labels. This had been done in the past and others were doing the same. However, when the stickers were handed out, some of the kids put them in places they should not have. So, the school’s answer, no more stickers.
I am often speechless by their decisions.
Rufus has made an excellent point. When something terrible happens it is on ALL (and there are many now) news programs constantly. The subliminal perception is that many incidents happened when it is only one. I grew up in the NYC metro area but even so there were only 5 or 6 TV stations and they only carried news for about, maybe, 2 hours per day. And they all went off the air at some point during the day. Now there are many 24×7 news stations and they have hours to fill.
Every potential storm is blown into a major event that must be covered and sensationalized long before it happens. And events that were so far away that they were unknown to all but the most avid newspaper readers are made to seem like they happened a few miles up the road. Every earthquake, tornado, cyclone, wildfire… whatever is immediately broadcast worldwide.
We, as individuals and parents, however, cannot escape our share of the blame. They pass idiotic laws and we follow them rather than telling them NO, WE WON’T DO IT. Roughly 100 bicyclists under the age of 15 are killed each your in bicycling accidents. Tragic as that is, does it really justify making all our children wear helmets to go out and ride their bicycles? Many just stopped riding rather than wear the stupid helmet.
When a teacher hyperventilates because some kid chewed a pop-tart into the shape of a pistol, or some kids were playing with toy guns on their own lawn, we need to tell the teacher to grow the f*** up. And when our kid’s team get’s their tails whipped in a sporting contest we need to tell them to work harder rather than filing a complaint. And when our kid fails a test we need to tell them the same thing rather than blaming it on the teacher and having a lawyer send a letter to the school.
It’s all about risk and growth. And without risk, there are no rewards. When I was a young boy, we slid down hills on wooden sleds with big sharp runners, crashed into trees, and bloodied our noses. We climbed trees, fell out, knocked ourselves silly sometimes, and yet we survived. Kids are alot more resilient than is now commonly thought. We had rock fights, snowball fights and whatever else we could find to throw. Jeez, somehow we all survived – and accepted risk as an important part of our growing life. Those of us who were a part of my generation were the greatest risk takers in the last century. Now, not only a generation of wimps, but unable to take a chance at anything in life. The rewards and memories they will miss…..
What we need now is a generation of parents who understand that there is only one shot at life, no do-overs. To swing at the ball and miss is by far better than watching it go by.
take heart, when this wimpy generation grows up, mayhap they’ll realize their limitations and raise the generation after them to be risk takers.
Great article, and spot-on. If you’re a dad of younger kids and “shake it off” isn’t something you say regularly, you’re part of the problem.
When I lived in Minnesota, I was seriously freaked out by the many dads I came across at parks who admonished their kids not to climb UP the slides. Seriously?!? Here in Indiana where I live now, I haven’t heard that kind of thing once. Much happier as a Hoosier, and feeling better about my sons’ surroundings.
Thanks, Jim!
AMEN!!
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Spot on Mark. Let our children play and get hurt…rub some dirt on it my Dad would always say. And please keep score, it’s what makes us play harder and actually practice. Here’s an article I wrote concerning the zero-tolerance policy and it hits on a few items you discussed. I love the website and fb page. Keep writing. http://clemmonsfreepress.com/mattocks-time-to-rethink-zero-tolerance/
Thanks, Noland! Good piece on your site…
Great article for sure. So many points that hit home. I coached t-ball seven years ago on Indianapolis’ south side. They didn’t keep track of score. The team batted around each inning, which was fine, but you needed to have some kind of score to push the kids. Score was pointless in this case, so my team kept track of outs. You know what? The whole team could hit the ball, knew where to go, knew where to throw and could catch a fly ball. By the end of the season, these kids were miles ahead of where they started and miles ahead of most other teams. Everyone still got a trophy, but my team knew they won, and took pride in their accomplishments.
It is insane to punish the kid who stands up to the bully. We are too quick to call the police for minor incidents, wanting everyone locked up for minor incidents. But even worse than that, when someone commits a serious crime, frequently there are excuses made and that person walks, or gets a puny sentence. They aren’t held accountable for their actions. Yet another way we are raising wimps.
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Great piece Mark. I have been saying this for years. Unfortunately I think a huge part of the problem is at school with the teachers. They seem to over react to minor problems instead of just “moving on”. I also think a huge problem is the lack of strong men as teachers. I remember my teachers and those men and women ruled very firmly and fairly. I am in favor of spanking at school also. Bulletin!! IT DOES NOT MAKE A PERSON VIOLENT TO BE SPANKED IN SCHOOL OR HOME!!!