How Fiona Apple Stole Christmas

Fiona Apple Trump

Remember Fiona Apple? She was a late-1990s alt-rock heroine who has continued recording and touring sporadically over the years (she once infamously canceled part of her tour because her dog was sick).

Well, she’s back—just in time to spoil the holidays with a little narcissistic political posturing.

According to New York magazine, a weird video has surfaced of Apple singing an anti-Trump version of Nat King Cole’s “The Christmas Song.”

The video, which features a messy-haired Apple staring down into the camera and a dog barking in the background, is not exactly family-friendly holiday fare. It begins with Apple singing, “Trump’s nuts roasting on an open fire” and goes downhill from there, with lyrics painting Trump as a pedophiliac “creepy uncle.” At the end of the song, after singing “Donald Trump, f**k you,” Apple channels Sinead O’Connor’s infamous stunt and rips up a photo of Trump.

Imagine, if you will, that a conservative singer had made a similar parody song about Barack Obama just after his election. It’s unlikely she would have been met with the swooning comments Apple got on New York magazine’s site (“She’s a goddess!” one wrote. “Thank you thank you thank you!” says another). A writer for Mashable even praised Apple for her “fresh take on a classic sentiment.”

After a difficult election season, and with the holidays approaching, one would think that celebrities, of all people (cocooned as they are from the troubles of the real world and able to cancel lucrative tours to nurse their pets), could set aside their political partisanship and just enjoy Christmas. No such luck. As the New Year begins, and Trump is sworn in as President, remember stunts like Apple’s when the liberal celebrity mainstream is calling on Trump to be nice and civil. If celebrities want live in a kinder, gentler, more tolerant culture, they should start by practicing what they preach.

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  • Lucas_D

    As a society, we need to treat Fiona Apple the same way we treat a vaguely weird smell on a busy sidewalk: Just keep walking and ignore it.

    • BunnyHooHoo

      Historically, ignoring these people hasn’t worked. These people need to be marginalized economically and culturally.

      • Lucas_D

        Eh, it’s been working for her so far. This article was the first I’ve heard of Fiona Apple since 1998.

  • Brett

    That’s one of my least favorite Christmas songs to start with, as if there were a way to make me less likely to listen to this.

  • Michael Hiteshew

    The more insane they become, the more power they lose. And they cannot stop.